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This Older Women Will Be An Old Maid Sort by:
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Posted on Mar 11, 2007 at 09:14 PM

Now, check this out, you are in your mid-40s, Whent through hard times, when you were young, and you thought you heard it all, and seen it all, But, then all of sudden, Boom! you realized, life is passing you by, you watched year after year, life changes, times flies, and you are at the crossroads of your life, confused? I am! Now, if you can go back in time and change things? which things you would change, but, you can't, but, you can change the future,{I prayed that I have a future} I would like to have a beautiful future, it would be with a wonderful, sweet, loving Man with Children, A big home with the Blessing of the Lord, watching us, play and pray together, happy, healthy, and be filled with so much love there, and laugher alot and teach your Children to love the Lord and theirselves as well, and yes, it would be a little noisy, and may have some disagreements, also, we can kiss and makeup for it{that's the best part}what home won't be without those things, and watch our future children grow up and have lives of there own, and my soulmate and I would grow old together, and still be filled with fun, and laugher and happiness and sheer joy of love in our home, and have dinners with our children and grandchildern, and then our own romantic dinners for two, he made me so happy when we first gotten married{Now, you understand the video story of"Our Love Won't Change" sang by Musiq, and that's why I cry so much about my life} But, for now, I'm stuck here, going nowhere fast, alone, watching other couples{young and old, married or not} being happy, holding hands, and kissing each other, and hearing music playing in my head{now}starting and singing"Look At Me I'm In Love, by the Moments{now, they go by the name: Ray, Goodmen, and Brown} and "Your Smile, by Rene and Angela" "Angel, by Anita Baker" and, "The Kiss Of Life, by Sade" and a whole lot more, then I start to cry, on "When it's my turn to have that kind of love in this Life" never! it's only in fairytales, and when you get up in the morning, it's a bright, sunny day, the clear skies are blue with white clouds, and it's not too cold outside, and the weather is warm, and the Birds are singing and dancing around you,{yes, these birds do up here} but, for some reason they do it to me, and I don't care, it's cool! anyway, and seeing lovers kissing and hugging and playing with each other, I cry and cry, and I run home and cry some more, not wanting to see it, it's too much to handle for me, all I got out of is loneliness, pain, agony, and so much more of misary, and it gets better, and all I want to do is commit suicide{it's ok, you can laugh now, everybody else does} but,I can't either, and I get depressed too, isn't that wonderful?! and if I'm correct, there's a song by Billy Ray Cyrus called"Lookin' for Love In All The Wrong Places" I maybe wrong, but somebody sing it, and that's why I came on this site, to see if I find a Sweet, Beautiful Mate with a heart of gold, but, if I don't find one here, then in the near future, I will go to the mountains, and find Jesus there, and live there in the mountains and be alone, and live like an old maid forever, sad, but, true, this maybe my only hope, and I don't see no other way, and I won't give up either, we will see, and sorry, I don't mean to upset anybody here, ok, so take care everyone, and God bless you all, and I'm sorry everyone about this, and lol and hugs from I.

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