Age Blogs and Age Stories - AgeMatch.com > Cj1976's blogs > Why not put yourself out there?
Why not put yourself out there? Sort by:
Members Only
Posted on Mar 19, 2009 at 11:37 PM

I don't know the exact reason for it but I have always been attracted to women older than myself.  I think a great deal of people out there are attracted to others that fall outside the status quo yet fail to act on it for their own reasons.  The best relationship I ever had was with a 45 yo. woman when I was 27.  That was 5 years ago and I think about her still nearly every day.  Reasons we are not still together are too complicated to get into.  I bring this particular relationship up b/c had I known then what I have learned over the last 5 years I would have found a way to make it work.  I honestly think people just don't give themselves the credit they deserve.  If you find something appealing, there is a reason for it.  There is no reason not to take a chance.  Everyone has been rejected, everyone has been hurt.  The pain of 100 simple intro rejections is worth a minute finding that right person.  I keep telling myself that there is nothing to lose by admitting my true feelings.  By not admitting them the loss occurrs. 

What I have found most disappointing is the number of ladies I met who fail to give themselves enough credit.  More disappointedly are those who enjoy talking and being with younger men but can't or won't break societal rules.  W have enough rules to live by.  Alot are in place for good reason but who we find attractive should not be something governed by rules.  If I convince anyone to to take a chance then I feel like I succeeded here.  It may work out, it may not.  At the end of the book I generally like to read the final page.   So take the plunge, guys and gals- follow what your brain is telling you and see what happens.  The worst outcome is you fall too quickly for Mr. or Mrs. wrong.  I just don't see this as a catastrophy.  You tried, no go, it might sting a little or a lot but you will pick yourself up.  Nobody cares how many times we fail.  Everyone wants to know the people capable of picking themselves back up.  To all those out there who have fallen, been hurt only to take on the next relationship I applaud you.  Feelings are tricky and they can get you wrapped up in meaningless past events and regret.  If we learned anything was there not some benefit?  Were there not some good times?  I've actually seen a broken heart.  I don't beleive they exist.  Wounded hearts are real but with the right attitude they can mend faster than we think. 

Go out and take a chance.  Regrets are a reminder of what could have been so stop taking them on.    In the end there are lots of reasons I think age gap relations are not pursued.  I just wish that those critics had any form of justifyable reason for discouraging it.

That's all I got for now. 


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Follow - email me when people comment
Members Only
Posted on Jan 27, 2010 at 05:36 PM

Very well written W

Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Dec 29, 2009 at 08:12 PM

Cj enjoy this while you can. Take it from an older man the day will come when you start thinking about the next generation and carrying the name forward. Have fun but know the clock is ticking and stops for no man.

Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Oct 01, 2009 at 01:02 PM

I get overwhelmed with so much to read.

You are a 'hot' lookin' man.

Only young men for me.

I'm the one in the middle

howsweetitis¿¿¿¿¿¿ Gail


Members Only
Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Apr 01, 2009 at 05:34 PM

Lunamore- I liked what you had to say.¿ I think in many ways you are right on.¿ I'm still at the stage where I beleive things will click when the time is right.

I just refused to come between a mother and her sons.¿ That is one of the most important relationships in the world.

Perhaps I missed my chance with "the one" regardless the decision was made from the heart and I have no regrets.

Thanks again,

Carl


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 31, 2009 at 08:54 PM

Lunamor, I love¿ your attitude and enjoy you comments - thanks lady


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 30, 2009 at 11:08 PM

Hey Sheri- Thanks for the post.¿ Really enjoyed talking to you this evening.¿ I hope someday we can meet.¿ So far it seems as if we are hitting it off.¿¿

I really like what you wrote about your kids.¿ Sounds like a good, healthy attitude I wish more people would instill in their children.

Given how much we both like to travel, it is inevitable we'll meet up at some point.¿ Just a matter of time.

Take care and thank you for your comments.

Carl


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 30, 2009 at 08:49 AM

Hi yall - First of all, CJ1976, I really liked all the things you said. You seem to have the right ideas about life and love!!With that said,I thought I'd throw in my two cents worth...from an older woman's perspective. I know life is way too short to try to make yourself happy by someone else's standards - be it society, your friends, co-workers or whoever. Everyone doesn't fit in "that box" that says you have to date and marry someone your own age! There are some of us who are attracted to people from another generation. I don't think its wrong by any means...just different. And you know people...they have a hard time accepting things that are different. However, I know in my heart of hearts what I like and that I'm not willing to settle for what makes someone else comfortable!! I want what makes ME happy! We can't help who we are attracted to any more than the people who are attracted to red heads, bikers, or tall people ! Its kind of the same philosophy I have for my kids. I can't control who they fall in love with - I just want them to be happy. Life has enough ups and down, we might as well accept what we like and try to find it and as you've all said "put yourself out there". I've been divorced quite awhile and have dated a few younger men, so my family and friends don't really give me any grief about it - they just know how I am ;) Southerngal

Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 23, 2009 at 08:13 AM

Thanks again!

Your comments are inspiring. Reassurance from time to time is definately a good thing.

I read your profile and comments you posted on other blogs and your comments paint the picture of a level headed, down to earth w/o BS kind of person. That type of personality is so valuable when one needs outside advice because their own judment is clouded by their emotions and the nonsence some situations present.

I hope you contine doing exactly what you are; Providing advice and calling out those who actually think any real person would respond to a serious blog posting with a "you so damn fine check me out yo so we can hook it up" type comment.

Reading your comments is just plain refreshing. Thanks again and please keep it up. Best Regards and best of luck in your search.


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 22, 2009 at 06:34 PM

Wow - I do like your attitude which seems very healthy. No sense in creating friction in a situation already loaded and ready to explode. I suspect I would also have reatreated rather than get blamed at a later date for being "in the way". Good luck, H


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 22, 2009 at 09:35 AM

Thanks for your post. Your comments are fair. Seems like it's ok in Hollywood but not for a normal guy.

Still, we all have challenges we need to overcome. Usually they are proportional to the situation. I don't know much about attempting to date younger women so I'm shooting from the hip here. I'd guess younger women would be more hesitant to initially contact an older male. With that said, one is forced to reach out and that may still seem intimidating. Have you been subtle and very respectful? I'm assuming so in which case it may just take time.

Who knows what the day will bring. You could meet a younger girl at the grocery store today (well you'd have to go to the store today:) ) but what I'm trying to say is don't give up. You sound a bit down on the matter so try to keep in mind that you never know what awaits around the corner. Best of luck and thank you for your comments.


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 20, 2009 at 11:14 PM

Thank you for you comment.  There were more complicating factors- like twin sons who were only 4 yrs younger than I who were coming back into her life.  My decision to leave had alot to do with that.  I just could not, rather would not be a part of making the mother  / sons relationship more strenous- which it was beginning to.

Sometimes it stings, but if you are a good person who follows their heart I beleive things will ultimately work in your favor.  I like to think removing myself was a personal sacrifice worth making.

Ms. Right is out there somewhere.  When the time is right,,,  I'll find her:)  Til then I'm gonna keep smiling, dating and taking mine own advice plus that offered by others so long as my heart tells me it's ok. 


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Members Only
Posted on Mar 20, 2009 at 10:42 PM

I am sorry to hear that your relationship did not work because you sound like you honestly wished it had.  It is very hard to comprehend someone who would be with you in private but not own to you publicly - sounds like there may have been more complicating factors than stated.  I absolutely agree with you however about wanting to be seen and enjoy each other no matter what the situation otherwise you feel just like a sex toy for the other individual.

Hope you can move on and find another amenable lady. H


Like Reply / add comments Quote | Report Bookmark and Share
Follow - email me when people comment