Age Blogs and Age Stories - AgeMatch.com > Gig0lo's blogs > Dog & Cat Mandate for your pets.
Dog & Cat Mandate for your pets. Sort by:
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Posted on Feb 22, 2012 at 07:14 PM

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY. FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT’S ALSO A TRUE STORY The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required. The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door: TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS: (1) They live here....you don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it “fur”-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly. Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people; (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children...

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Posted on Mar 05, 2012 at 11:05 PM

Obviously Age Match thought so too....but he was an old Dog that was asleep. He was a sweet old dog who was a very trained hunting dog he knew all the hand signals...but I didn't!!!. and he was deaf. It made for a hilarious 3 months that I took care of him, He loved to be bathed. and loved fried eggs. and I found that out telapathicaly. I cried when he went back to his owners Dad. Who told me that he had never seen anyone that took care of a dog so well. When I got him they warned me he was pineing and whined, He got to my house and never once pined or whined...just loved me and settled in no problem.


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Posted on Mar 02, 2012 at 10:03 PM

My lovely Litenbrite, this pooch must be auditioning for the centerfold of Pethouse...? SMOOOOOTCH!

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Posted on Feb 29, 2012 at 06:31 PM

That's the life I want when I am reincarnated... A dog in a GOOD household. He looks so happy and oh so South Florida style lazy!

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Posted on Feb 29, 2012 at 08:34 AM

Gig, This is one that I Fostered for 3 months, Didnt take him long to settle down.....


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