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How to Flirt with Women in Grocery Stores Sort by:
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Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 11:29 AM

Despite the condescending, bitter remarks, my lines work. Several women whom I've hit on in grocery stores have given me their phone number. Not all, mind you. That's to be expected. But, as Wayne Gretsky said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." If I approach 10 women in a grocery store, and three give me their number (I never give my number because women never call men), that's like batting .300. That's not bad. However, I ask: What's wrong with "calculating a script" when it comes to approaching women? Complementing a beautiful woman is patronizing? That's absolutely false to me. Any woman who feels patronized for being told she's beautiful is not right, IMO. Also, whom am I hurting? What's the problem telling a woman in a grocery store that she's beautiful? Whom am I wronging? What crime have I committed? Why is this insulting? Lighten up, ladies. What's the difference between me and the guy who hangs out in bars, picking up women? You ladies need to think rather than react. If I complement a woman, and she acts insulted, that's fine with me. I want nothing to do with a woman who has issues taking compliments. I think your cynicism is actually more directed toward me rather than my pickup technique. The fact is, most women enjoy being approached, whether it's in a bar, a grocery sotre, or a gym. If they don't, it's their job to say, 'I'm not interested," at which time I will politely eject myself. If she's not enjoying my approach, then I let her walk. It's no big deal, ladies. It's called "flirting" for a reason, you know. ;)

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Posted on May 24, 2007 at 06:36 AM

Remember John Belushi in The Blues Brothers." When he looked at Carrie Fisher with THOSE lust filled eyes??? When you the woman of your dreams Say your words with vigor, see the blood boil in those beautiful eyes of hers and be ready for the point that she is about to go ballistic on you... Then as if by magic, immediately use the laser fused glance ala Belushi! Say with conviction that you only meant to address the fact that SHE made you go out on a limb to meet her... YOU are a man and men say the damndest things but your blood was starting to hit the maximum allowable point before boiling... Your top was going to blow and so on and so forth. Then continue the plasma driven glance ala Belushi... You just had to make an impact because she was the focal point of your attention all along... Get her to have a drink with you now anyway, anyhow and continue the warm inviting stare and admiration of all her qualities... Seize her senses and tell her that you want to seduce her as slowly as possible... You are mesmerized by her persona... Carpe Diem!

Hmmm...well, I'm surethat could work for you, Gig: you're a smooth operator. But I never sympathize with women when they appear angry or uncomfortable with my hitting on them. There's a professional pickup artist I read about; his name is Mystery he claims that once a woman exhibits three "indicators of interest," the man should immediately "go caveman" and make a "move"--and one of Mystery's "moves" involves pointing to the sky and saying "Look at the blah blah blah." When she looks up, cup a good feel of her breasts. This is what Mystery recommends doing (many claim that Mystery is THE most successful pickup artist; books have been written about him; NBC's Nightly News even featured a piece on him). He says embrace your "caveman" instinct, and if she slaps you, that makes for a great story. I, too, sincerely feel that it's good to evoke emotion in a woman, albeit bad or good; I've never been slapped by a woman, but my ex-wife threw a 3 lb. bag of uncooked pasta shells at me. I still laugh about it today. I was at the beach with a girl. I was busting her chops the whole time, calling her a "nerd" and teasing her about her nails ("Would you like to borrow my fingernail clippers? They get all the dirt out."), but I had also taken the time to prepare sandwiches, drinks, a blanket, etc. How many guys do that? She didn't know what to think of me, and I loved that response. Anyway, I did exactly what Mystery recomended; we were swimming in the ocean, and I pointed to the sky and said, "Look at the blah blah blah." She looked up, and I felt her breasts. She didn't seem too taken aback. She asked, "Did you just feel my breasts?" to which I matter-of-factly and unapologetically replied, "Yes." She didn't slap me; she didn't even ask me to take her home. It was very anticlimactic, really. I felt like I wanted her to get a little angry. BTW, this should be done with women whom you know you're going somewhere. Don't do this to the bimbo whom you just met at work.

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Posted on May 22, 2007 at 07:55 AM

One that you should never use is... "Excuse me are those space pants that your wearing???" She answers . No, why, do you ask? Because your a-s-s is out of this world... Expect to get the kitchen sink tossed .

LOL...now THAT is funny... I think it would absolutely ROCK to get slapped by a woman for using such a line. What are the chances of her laughing, though? She may like it!

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Posted on May 15, 2007 at 07:31 AM

Re: Gig0lo write: Dear Lovely Wonderfully Infectious Helena... If I met you anywhere and felt the urge to walk up and introduce myself to you... By simply saying as an example "Excuse me but weren't you on the cover of Vogue magazine once before??? Then I realize what I've done and said whoops? The paparazzi are everywhere... I'll keep it between us! Then waited for your smile and acceptance and began to have an interactive discussion with you which either clicks or it doesn't... ultimately leading to meet for a cup of coffee... Would you have thought any less of me? I would want to belive that you found me delightful & interesting?

Gig, that's a good one, so good that I'm going to use it on the next beautiful woman I see in a grocery store.

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Posted on May 02, 2007 at 12:18 PM

Gigolo: It surprises me to hear women tell me that they often think my "lines" are cute. I think women are so tired of men approaching them , offering a drink, and saying, "So...what do you do??" BORING. I like your point about coming on strong but not trying to bed her. Many women seem so defensive about that.

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Posted on Apr 30, 2007 at 01:59 PM

Helena: What is my intent? If you're thinking it is sex, yes, that's a major part of it. I have to feel sexually stimulated in order to approach a woman. But another one of my intentions is making a beautiful woman laugh. There's nothing better than seeing a pretty girl smile and/or hearing a pretty girl laugh. It makes my day even better, to be honest.

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Posted on Apr 19, 2007 at 02:30 PM

To HPD I think you should spend time working on a dissertaion instead of wasting time in grocery stores, or even blogging? Don't you need a PH.D to be a prof???? You think you can be a College teacher with a BA? Dang where do you teach? In Alligator University? Next thing you know you will be ranting that women get all the opportunities...and you have been "passed up" Lari

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Posted on Apr 11, 2007 at 08:48 AM

Gigolo: I wholeheartedly agree. Couldn't write it better. Approaching a beautiful woman in a grocery store takes courage, and many of the women I've approached understand and admire that. No woman I know despises being approached. A few women act nervously, but that's their problem, not mine. I believe that underneath the smug, cold attitude lies a sincere and vulnerable human being who wants to be acknowledged. I have no doubt the women I approach on the street, in the grocery store, etc. go home at night and talk about me to a friend. It's a wonderful thang. Thank you for your male input. I feel that more men need to sound off on this board. Too many men here that place women on a pedestal.

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Posted on Apr 02, 2007 at 01:42 PM

HPD YGS did not say he was prickish. He said he was a prick.....Uhh...can we really argue with this? Lari

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Posted on Apr 02, 2007 at 09:00 AM

YGS: Adjuncts rarely receive full-time pay. To be a full-time adjunct, one must be closely networked and basically schmooze his way into being assigned "temporarily full time." Believe it or not, obtaining an English teaching position (adjunct or full) is VERY competitive because there are a lot of qualified applicants with a master's in English, so schools hire people with a master's for full time positions. Schools hire adjuncts to fill in the holes, the extra, unanticipated classes, the prep writing classes, etc. But, once I earn 18 credit hours toward my master's, a community college will likely hire me full time because I am well connected with certain professors on the hiring committee. Yes, leaving my banking job for the academia was the craziest-yet-most-satisfying move I've ever made. It was a big gamble, and ny friends and family think I'm stupid for giving up my corporate job. I admit that I miss the money, but every day I drive past the skyscraper in which I worked, and I feel great knowing that I'm doing what I WANT to do in life instead of what I hate, which is mindlessly slaving and wasting away my life in a cubicle. YGS, I invite you to consider rethinking community college. Personally, I love teaching cc. I graduated from an "exclusive" private, liberal arts school largely comprised of underachieving rich kids, and I can tell you that many cc students are just as intelligent or motivated. To me, more CC students are overachievers, the underdogs: they haven't the money or time that a 4-year student usually has, and I'm a perennial underdog advocate. Some cc students are not college material, but they likely won't pass my class anyway.

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Posted on Apr 01, 2007 at 06:06 PM

Dear Hot Potatoe Dude! I have held it in as long as I could...... YOU ARE AN IDIOT.

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Posted on Mar 31, 2007 at 10:37 AM

YGS: You don't seem prickish at all, and I appreciate your interest. I agree that I'm not your typical English professor, though My listed income is accurate (unfortunately) because I recently quit my banking job and decided to do what I love. In Florida, a college English professor's salary usually starts around $40,000. I'm currently adjuncting at the college level. Like you, I'm pursuing a master's (in English). I have no PhD. I'm doing a few other things, too, like tutoring and editing, which are great ways to supplement my income while earning my master's. Honestly, I don't care what my fellow professors or students think of me. My pics are posted. If someone notices me, that's fine. It doesn't bother me because I am comfortable being me. I am an individual with an open mind and strong opinions, and as you can see, I'm not afraid to express them. That intimidates and infuriates a lot of people, including members of my own family. I consider myself an anomaly in the academia: I'm white, outspoken, physically fit, and good looking, and a lot of my fellow professors resent it.Most of my fellow faculty members comprise the following: gay males, angry gay and/or white females, angry minority and/or gay females. Many of these-type individuals feel (often rightfully) white men have repressed and wronged them. Still, I make no concessions. I am me, and you can love me or hate me for it. Being an English teacher affords me considerable license in the area of individual expression, and I cannot imagine doing anything else from which I could earn a decent income.

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Posted on Mar 29, 2007 at 10:51 PM

Hey HotProfDude you are a player nothing more. I see your kind everyday. Believe me when women goes to a grocery store they dont want to get hit on. If you are really getting phone numbers then you are getting numbers of women that are starving for a mans affection. I think you are full of crap.

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Posted on Mar 29, 2007 at 08:00 PM

HPD, It's patronizing when you're "calculating" a script. How many women do you need to flirt with to feel gratified anyway? Just the fact that you refer to your pickup "techniques" says immature and callow to me. Those same "techniques" are just as ineffective and laughable in any venue or location. Obviously you view yourself as an expert on women. That's a pretty arrogant attitude. We are individuals, as are men, and as such a one size fits all "technique" is sooooo shallow. You can rationalize not sharing your number any way you want. Bottom line is it gives you all the control. Women do return calls. All of the ones I know do. You ought to listen to the wisdom that is being posted here. That's a "real" education about women. Peace, Dreamer

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Posted on Mar 29, 2007 at 02:57 PM

Lazlo: Thanks for relating your experience. Personally, I no longer hit on women in my gym; I've belonged to the same gym for 2 years, so I see the same women there every time I'm there. Unless you visit your gym occasionally, I would not recommend meeting women in gyms. Just make eye contact and say hello when you pass them. Then, let her approach you and evolve the conversation naturally. Once you do that, then you can start sending fliratious signals, or, better yet, ask her to join you for coffee. One silly way I like to make a hot girl laugh is to say, "102! 103!" while I'm lifting. However, most girls are very self-conscious and timid in gyms; so, if you can arrange to meet her in a more conversation-friendly environment, i.e. a coffeeshop, you'll probably find out if she's worth pursuing (and spend less than $2 doing so!)

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Posted on Mar 28, 2007 at 09:38 PM

How wonderful HotProfDude, you have it all scripted. Don't you think a woman with half a brain would see right through you? Of course she would silly boy.

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Posted on Mar 28, 2007 at 09:37 PM

How wonderful HotProfDude, you have it all scripted. Don't you think a woman with half a brain would see right through you? Of course she would silly boy.

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Posted on Mar 28, 2007 at 09:21 PM

Mr. HPD! Yeah..but what if you saw an ugly woman? Have you got a stream of consciousness modus operandi for her??? If I bump into you in the grocery store, take a hint form Dionne Warwick..WALK ON BY.

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Posted on Mar 28, 2007 at 07:24 PM

HPD, No offense but you seem to overthink this way too much. Your comments and observations are much too calculating and in my opinion, really patronizing. Try relaxing instead of always stalking and looking for opportunities to size up a woman. You are obviously intelligent, just let that shine through. Peace, Dreamer

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Posted on Mar 28, 2007 at 07:22 PM

i thought the gym was a good place ive met some women there

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