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Posted on Feb 17, 2007 at 08:30 AM

As I reflect on my past experiences, I'm just amazed at how insensitive, heartless, and cut-throat many American women can be when it comes to dating. I'm not sure how many of you may have heard these words or experienced this, but in my opinion, these are some of the most painful words that a woman can do to hurt your feelings. And in this case it isn't about lying that she has a boyfriend to try to get you away. It is when things start to get sour with a woman for whom you really had feelings and with whom you had been out on a few dates Then she says to you: "However, I have to be honest," or "I did not feel the same way that you did." Then, they often take it to the next step by telling you that they "hope you could share those same feelings again with another woman" or that "you deserve to be with someone who feels like you do; I hope you find her." Those words can pierce into your heart like a sharp sword because she's basically telling you that she doesn't view you at all on the same level of attraction. I have experienced that at least from three different women. I have to be honest: It hurt a whole lot, but by the time I got it from the third woman, the effects didn't last for long, and with each of them, I was able to give them a piece of my mind. It's just amazing the stuff men have to put up with when it comes to dating and relationships here in the States. I watched the movie "Hitch" sometime last month, and it was the same classic story that most of us men on here can perhaps relate to: A sweet, genuinely nice, and kind man with a heart of gold gets passed over by the object of his affection; his emotions are taken advantage of and trampled upon. The incident transforms him forever. I'm just truly amazed by this double standard where such women think it is fair game to continually hurt men's feelings, while if a man expresses himself when he's been hurt, it means that he's weak. The extent at which these women are so cold-hearted and insensitive and inconsiderate is mind boggling. I write this post to encourage any men on here who like me are still single and who sometimes may feel discouraged when, like me, they walk on the street alone and see couples kissing and holding hands; men who, like me, go to movies alone, etc. Sometimes it gets quite discouraging, frustrating, and even despairing. But you know what? Let's continue to keep our heads up. There is someone out there for all of us. This is my 5th year being single, and the 3rd year in which I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day with anyone. I'm not sure if any man on the board has been single for as long as me, meeting one shallow and heartless woman after another after another for all these years. Sitting by myself watching men and women this Valentine's Day holding flowers and heart-shaped balloons to give to their lovers was tough. It is unfortunate that good men have to go through all the terrible b--ches in between before eventually stumbling upon the right one. But I won't give up. I look at all of my painful experiences as a weeding out process and those women as not deserving of me. I have had to be strong because these things can have a really tremendous impact on your heart. So to the single men on this board, do not despair. No matter how bad your experiences may have been, do not give up. Think positive, respect yourself, believe that you deserve a lot better, and think of yourself as a prize and a great catch, and hopefully, you will attract a woman who deserves you someday. Sometimes, as they say, true love may come your way when you least expect it. Take care, guys.

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Posted on Jan 05, 2009 at 03:17 PM

HPD you reckoned that 5 years of being single and some polite rejection was tough.You should try a 50 year lifetime of the single life and the put downs which only the British girls know and learn from their early teens.

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Posted on Mar 21, 2007 at 07:06 PM

Hi, you do make some good points, but i just need to say aso that we women sometimes get treated that way, u have to understand that most women are straight forward and will tell you of the bat if there ain't no chemistry going on, so be thankful that the one's that did that to you did not string you along, some men are not so kind and they will string women along knowing full well they are not interested. However, that said i know what it is like being alone, and all those occasions passing you by without someone to share it with. When i finally met someone to share it with, i wished that i was still single. Sometimes what we want is not what we really need, try and enjoy your own company and do the things that you love and someday heaven will smile on you, i just hope that when you get that special person that she appreciates you for who you are and i hope that is what you truly need and not merely what you want :) Food for thought huh?

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Posted on Mar 05, 2007 at 01:47 PM

Hi Mr. Gigilo! You forgot "oxi" which is no in Greek....you are a bitter, bitter man......and your so called "international bimbos" will be delighted with you money and not you.....You make HotProfDude look like the hero of the day.. Shame on you for your outburst! Larissa

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Posted on Mar 05, 2007 at 09:52 AM

Spen: I was born in the US...so I'm looking for the problem close to home. I certainly don't travel to meet women....so I don't understand your comment.

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Posted on Mar 05, 2007 at 09:48 AM

Pumkin: Yes, I know it's me and not the women...I'm honest, though. I call it how I see it. Actually, I want no one to pity me. Why would you feel sorry for me? I've got everything a guy could want (and I'm not being cocky, either; just stating a fact): looks, intelligence, etc. The only thing missing in my life is a quality beautiful woman. There are tons of pretty American woman, but I've haven't found one with the ideal qualities I'm looking for, and I'm relating my experiences in a candid manner. Looks help, but they're not everything. I strongly disagree, however, about your worshipping beautiful women. I genuflect for noone. It's not me. I feel that flowers, candy, etc. on the first date is a horrible idea. How many women have you actually ended up sleeping with or sustaining a meaningful relationship? IMO, gifts do not get the girl. Pumkin, say this the next time you approach a beautiful woman (instead of complimenting her on her shoes or laughing at everything she says): "If you were not gay, you would be soooo mine." THAT will get you a date (and maybe more). I've used it tons of times, and women love it.

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Posted on Mar 03, 2007 at 06:40 PM

there are alot of lovely american ladies on here , maybe you should be looking closer to home for the problem .just a though?

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Posted on Mar 03, 2007 at 01:13 PM

hey big guy have you ever thought to yourself its not the women but infact it is you your actions your speach the way you treat the fine beautifull women of this world is not radiating any spark am i sure its not the physical attraction you look like you are well above average (handsome) see i am not that good looking but i have no problem with women cause i worship them women love that hehee let me tell you something women love three things flowers, shoes and compliments like on a first date give her flowers compliment how beautifull her shoes look and for a bonus ask her where she got them by the end of the night she might let you get your freak on dude starting this blog what are you tring to do make them feel sorry for you awwww you poor thing you had bad experiences with women let the rest of us good gals line up and send you resumes for you to pick i should stop now before i start offending you or men on this site words are very strong somtimes remember it takes two to starting happening a kiss for helena2006 here a kiss for helena2006 there a kiss for helena everywhere ohh my lets not get carried away............

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Posted on Feb 27, 2007 at 10:35 AM

Worthy Lady, Please understand that even though men have been saying these things for centuries remember, that was then! Men have lost kingdoms over women! No bitterness there I'm sure! Slavery was brought here by white men but I am white and I was not there! I don't want to be catagorized because of that too! My ex wife made 5 times more money than I and I had a difficult time with it! We are what we are NOW!

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Posted on Feb 25, 2007 at 01:50 PM

ohhh this is a message for Helena2006... You are still beautiful......

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Posted on Feb 25, 2007 at 01:47 PM

Dear HPD! With all due respect..in fact, all the respect that I can muster, let me say, I would love it if men would stop the warmongering. Then all the ladies would remain in mental, economic, emotional captivity....they would cook, clean, and keep their mouth shouts and then finally,finally, my love, you would find the woman of your dreams.......

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Posted on Feb 23, 2007 at 02:43 PM

Helena: You're right: I do like to test people. No harm done, though, right? I am simply furthering discussion pertaining to the sexes, and such furthering is something I don't take lightly, to be honest. I am not bored. I'm actually rather busy most of the time. My blogs and profile are me, and I take them seriously. What you see is what you get, and what you get is an enigma wrapped inside of an enigma. I have manufactured an enviable poker face and a most ambiguous behavior. You never know when I'm serious, but I am extremely open minded. But it's not an act. Discussing gender roles is fascinating. Leslie Marmon Silko Jamaica Kincaid. As you may already know, these women are highly regarded in the post-modern literary canon.

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Posted on Feb 23, 2007 at 02:32 PM

Lorissa: Thanks for the compliment. I am very adorable. :) We men start wars the same reason we build skyscrapers: We believe in them. And, believe it or not, war is a good thing. Men are just as passionate about fighting wars as they are about championing industry. And you should be grateful for that. Think about this (please be open minded): Men die in wars because they believe in protecting our nation's freedom. Freedom for you means you're able to speak your mind and pursue, say, a college degree. In most other countries, women cannot earn a degree. In most other countries, women are likely going to cook, clean, raise children, and keep their mouths shut. But not in America. In our country, women are free to express themselves, in part because thousands of us men have died in wars So, please: show a little respect. :) It's really not right for you to merely say men start wars. You need to think WHY men start wars, dear. We engage other nations in war to protect our citizens, and that includes women--smart women, bimbos, etc.

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Posted on Feb 21, 2007 at 11:10 AM

HI Professional Gentleman!! Let's see..men die in wars..maybe it's just becaue they caused them?? Books that I don't bother to read??? You are adorable. I am a doctor with two post doctorates and have written books and articles. Notice that when I replied to you, I only cited facts, kept to them, and did not cast slurs your way. Oh dear, I better run and read all those book I've missed...don't want to be a dumb chick.

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Posted on Feb 20, 2007 at 08:42 AM

Worthylady: I get your post. Points well taken. Men are not perfect. Far from it. It just seems there's so much derision pertaining to men being pigs; rarely, however, it seems that women are criticized. Too often, I feel, men just sit back and take it. Yes, it must be difficult being a woman, but I'd actually like to be a woman--for one day. I'd like to know what it's like to enter a room and feel the power that is woman--i.e. every man staring at my chest. Just a little humor. :)

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Posted on Feb 20, 2007 at 08:34 AM

Helena: Thanks for your advice; you're right that the ones I pursue are less than ideal and lack depth. It seems, based on my personal experience, that beauty and brains must be ordered a la carte when it comes to physically attractive females. And it makes sense in my mind that many exceptionally beautiful women lack intellectual and emotional substance. Think about it: a really beautiful girl has been told all her life that she is special, and she never really has to examine herself within. Men listen to everything she says (while stealing furtive glances at her breasts). She is, in fact, kind of emotionally retarded (for lack of a better term). That's why really handsome men and really pretty girls are perceived meatheads/bimboes...they have the smarts, but they rarely have to exercise them.

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Posted on Feb 20, 2007 at 08:25 AM

Larissa: You're right: men make more money and destroy more forests and families. Men also die more (in wars) and build more (skyscrapers, homes, etc.). We do most of the dirty work, dear. I agree that it is never nice or humane to judge or stereotype genders...notice that I write that "many" American women I meet are cutthroat(based on my personal experience). I am way too smart and educated to ever wholly judge or label anything. Also, I have studied and analyzed the repressive aspects of the postmodern woman. I have read countless stories of female authors whom you likely have never bothered reading. "The critic is the person who knows the way but has no car." --Unknown

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Posted on Feb 20, 2007 at 08:13 AM

Rig: Thanks for the advice. Problem is, Bogie could be an incorrigible alchy, and I'd swallow a live firecracker before I'd fish.

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Posted on Feb 20, 2007 at 08:09 AM

While I can certainly sympathize with your reactions and feelings, please remember that men having been saying these things to women for centuries! Do things like "I'll call you tomorrow..." and they never do or "I can't stay.. early meeting tomorrow..." when the truth is they can't wait to get the Hell out of there, sound at all familiar? As Larissa2000 said "this is a man's world where men receive more money, have more options, commit enormous crimes against women, and are free to run around like raging bulls destroying the planet." Words cut deep regardless of gender and we should all be honest and up front from the beginning. And to generalize that "many" of us are "insensitive, heartless, and cut-throat" is very unfair. Obviously you are dating the wrong kind of woman.. those words would never describe me or those that I know.

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Posted on Feb 19, 2007 at 04:53 PM

Bogie would have a few glasses of gin (Gordon's)and move on..Oh, it helps that Sam offers to go fishing.

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