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Posted on Dec 11, 2006 at 08:18 AM

Based on my personal experiences and observations, I strongly believe that feminism has gotten too much into the heads of too many American women, and with rather unfortunate results. Let no one get me wrong. I don't advocate violent and abusive behavior toward women or discrimination against them, and I certainly believe in equal opportunity between the sexes. However, I think many American women have a double standard in the sense that they often reject the so-called nice guys for not having an edge, not being masculine enough, etc., yet at the same time they don't hesitate to play the feminist card with men who seem to feel very comfortable embracing their masculinity at very high levels. Here in the United States, I think women have too much disproportionate power within the initial stages of dating and relationships, and there needs to be some kind of balance. Think about it, guys: the amount of humiliation, heartbreaking experiences and superficial rejection that a man often goes through in the dating game is unbelievable. Women have a right to stand you up, hurt your feelings, exploit you, and lie to you over and over, but because you're a man, you need to simply move on and keep your mouth shut. Expressing your emotions would, in their opinion, imply that you're too sensitive, a wuss, effeminate. If you're naturally a soft-spoken person, it is regarded as a weakness, and the woman may feel that you can't stand up for her or yourself; on the other hand, if you're very outspoken, she may fear that you're the verbally abusive type and won't hesitate to call the cops and get you arrested if need be. Another unfortunate consequence of American women and their feminism is that many of them tend to be very cut-throat and unwilling to work things out (compromise) with their partners when there are misunderstandings within relationships. Instead, being fully aware of how much power they have, they emulate celebrities who keep switching partners just like they change their clothes. The spoiled mentality of "I'm a woman, I have many options..." stupidly blinds them. While I'm not suggesting that all American women act this way, I must say, based on my personal experiences, that of all the Western women I have come across, none in my opinion have been as superficial and shallow and less willing to accept people for who they are than American women. The past three years, this has been manifesting itself in my life in a different way. Prior to lifting weights at the gym regularly like I do these days, I could barely get most of the women to whom I felt attracted to notice me. I used to run marathons and was a very slender, athletic build. I remember overhearing a black woman tell her boyfriend in their car as I jogged by one day ?That dude is so skinny." These days, all of a sudden, with barely any effort at all, it seems extremely hard for me not to get the kinds of women (I can spot them out in a second) who normally never gave me the time of day, to notice me. Even when I wear leather jackets, they seem to notice my muscular definition. The one thing that I feel good about in all of this is that not only has my confidence skyrocketed (and , of course, my testosterone level, too since I began lifting weights, but I can say with assertiveness that there is absolutely no woman out there who can disrespect me verbally or abuse that feminism stuff with me. I walk around and I seem to come across to many of them as a semi-giant, and now all of a sudden, they look at me as if they want to mate with me. It's a shame, but I guess that's the way it is.

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Posted on Jan 20, 2007 at 08:16 AM

Helena: I respect your decision to stay home and raise your children...a revolutionary concept these days. It just makes sense to me that women can, and should, pursue a career AFTER the children are raised...just makes sense to me...used to make sense to a lot of other people, too, until greed set in and people started thinking they had a right to reside in a 2500 sq. foot home, own 2 cars, and run their credit cards to the point of unmanageable debt (remember savings accts.? LOL). Personally, I don't feel the threat of poverty is an issue for the majority of white average Americans. The real issue for most Americans is excess :) AFFLUENZIA...the homes are getting bigger, but they're emptier. Everything's supposedly bigger and better, but America has become...smaller and...definitely not better...Most Americans I speak with concerning the future of our nation feel hopeless...most everyone I know feels America is at dusk...a sun that is plummeting rather than setting... It's safe to say that we're in trouble, and there's really no resolution because no one cares. I suspect that the USA is extinct in the areas of morals and ideals. Indeed, American standards is an oxymoron. Materialism is the new American religion, and if you don't believe me, take a trip to your local shopping mall next sunday morning; I guarantee you'll find more cars parked there than you will in ALL local churches combined. I won't be surprised if our material empire is fully extinct within the next century. After all, all empires end, right?

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Posted on Jan 16, 2007 at 07:32 AM

VDS: You usually post some intersting things, but your rhetoric dissapoints me. :( You're full of assumptions. First of all, adhering to the supposed ideals of the 21st century has absolutely nothing to do with my ideals...a shift in time doesn't shift me. I don't care what the rest of the world expects me to think...and frankly, it boggles my mind that each decade I hear people saying, "It's the 80's...it's the 90's..." etc. So what? I've never listened to such platitudes. I form my own opinion based on MY feelings...not society's. And I think that's for the best. Society is pretty stupid, really. Increasingly stupid and desensitized, really. Therefore, I want nothing to do with 21st century ideals. Apparently you assume I'm a misogynist because I feel women should be at home raising children. Hmmm...based on that assumption, it's likely your father and grandfather didn't like women much either, right? Did they believe women should be at home, spending more time with their own children? Let me repeat: It's my opinion that America went to crap because the vast majority of its citizens pursued the almighty dollar...no matter which way you slice it, VDS, child raising takes a backseat to that pursuit. After all, you can't have your cake and eat it, too--remember?

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Posted on Jan 12, 2007 at 09:17 PM

Venus and Dude I was doing a man's job in a man's world 35 years ago before it was the "in thing" That is why I say there are things men do and things women do. The hard heavy jobs take a toll on a woman's body. Men don't have children and there are some things women are physically equiped to do. My body is riddles with ailments related to the hard jobs I did when I was younger.

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Posted on Jan 12, 2007 at 09:13 PM

Venus Dark Star and Dude! If you want traditional women you should pay for dates. Talk it over with your date before going out. As to motherhood I would have given anything to be at home with my child when he was small instead I worked 7 days a week for 3 years of his life just to feed and clothe him. You can't go back and capture any time lost. I averaged 65 to 75 hours a week and the day care was raiseing my child. Is that what mother's want in today's society?

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Posted on Jan 12, 2007 at 09:09 PM

Venus Dark Star and Dude! I'm not out of tune with the times and did not mean that woman don't have the right to do men's jobs my word I was doing men's work 35 years ago and that's why I say women shouldn't. Women are tough no doubt and they are the power houses of the worldbut our bodies are soft and femine and men's are muscular. The hard physcial labor takes it's toll on us. Today my body is riddled with ailments related to the work I did. I even had a problem having my child and could not have anymore. All the lifting and long hours doing heavy work takes it's toll. We are equal to the task in our minds and in some things our bodies but there are so things that should be left to the men and some that should be for women. Men don't give birth so there are oviously somethings women only and there should be some oviously men only.

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Posted on Jan 12, 2007 at 09:07 PM

Venus Dark Star and Dude! I'm not out of tune with the times and did not mean that woman don't have the right to do men's jobs my word I was doing men's work 35 years ago and that's why I say women shouldn't. Women are tough no doubt and they are the power houses of the worldbut our bodies are soft and femine and men's are muscular. The hard physcial labor takes it's toll on us. Today my body is riddled with ailments related to the work I did. I even had a problem having my child and could not have anymore. All the lifting and long hours doing heavy work takes it's toll. We are equal to the task in our minds and in some things our bodies but there are so things that should be left to the men and some that should be for women. Men don't give birth so there are oviously somethings women only and there should be some oviously men only.

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Posted on Jan 11, 2007 at 03:44 PM

VDS: Yes, that's right. I want my cake, and I want to eat it, too. As you say: What good is cake if you don't eat it? If the woman's unemployed/willing to be a housewife/looking for a man to support her, then would gladly pay the bill. I'm really not a cheapskate...if I were, i'd have problem admitting it.

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Posted on Jan 10, 2007 at 04:54 AM

Hot Prof, Do you really know what it was like growing up with a mother at home and the father being the breadwinner? It wasn't quite the "Ozzie & Harriet" fantasy people seem to think it was, believe me. I can only speak for myself but to me, the role of mother needs to be honored and valued for the highly skilled profession it really is. I read somewhere that at today's wages and because of the multiple hats a mother wears, her job is worth well over $100,000 per year and most of what she does for her children and husband is priceless. It's about being fully enfranchised as a human being and being valued without having to work twice as hard to make 2/3 the money and in my case, being paid much less to do the same job as my male predecessor. When you feel the glass ceiling and see people much less qualified than you get moved to the front of the line simply because of gender, it cheats everybody. I've also known many single mothers raising their children on their own and working hard to support them who raised wonderful adults. On the flip side, I've also known adults who were raised in the traditional manner who were truly lousy human beings. I have also seen single fathers raising their children on their own too and doing a good job of it as well as same sex couples raising fine, heterosexual adults. Generalizations about roles are so anachronistic. I do have to say I'm very proud to see a woman in the "house"! She's right where she belongs...kudos to Nancy Pelosi for breaking yet another barrier. When we see a woman in the most important "house" in the nation, we will have achieved a measure of true enfranchisement for everyone.

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Posted on Jan 09, 2007 at 10:55 AM

Rosie: I appreciate your comments. Rarely do you read such comments from women anymore. It's all about roles...equal roles. it's no coincidence that american society has fallen apart ever since kids started being raised in duel-income households. it's not enough anymore to own a 1500 sq. foot home with no garage. Aned people wonder why so many of today's kids lack empathy and display societal indifference. Women should be at home taking care of children...that used to be an honorable thing amonst women...today many women are embarrased if they aspire to be a housewife. tssk-tssk.

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Posted on Jan 09, 2007 at 10:50 AM

VDS: Your asserting that the person who asks for a date should pay makes perfect sense...until you realize that rarely do women ask men out on dates. Nine times out of ten, the man is expected to do the asking. So, according to your theory, I pay nine times out of ten. Is that fair? :) Re: Stick coming out my backside. Don't know what you're talking 'bout dear, but women routinely tell me my butt is one of my best attributes (second to my beautifully shaved head, of course).;)

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Posted on Jan 06, 2007 at 10:03 AM

I am an older woman but I believe that woman have over olayed their hand with the femine movement. I think we have lost the respect men once had for us because so many women are trying to equal men but can't take it when they are treated like one. Let's face it woman aren't men so we need to stop trying to be. I do believe that equal work should equal the same pay. I don't think women should be in the military or on construction sites. We were designed to be the homemakes and mothers. There's nothing wrong with a woman that works but she needs to do work that suits a woman's mind and body not one that is far to heavy for a woman.

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Posted on Dec 18, 2006 at 11:53 AM

Ohsovirgo: Obviously, i have evoked some strong feelings in you...good! You are a strong woman who has overcome her share of problems, and for that you are to be commended.

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Posted on Dec 18, 2006 at 11:50 AM

Venus, I was wondering when you'd enter the fray...i await with baited breath your counterpoint(s).

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Posted on Dec 15, 2006 at 05:17 PM

hey helena what is your problem?

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Posted on Dec 15, 2006 at 12:24 PM

Ohsovirgo: I'm sorry you've had a rough past, but who hasn't? For many, life is a biatch, my dear...I can certainly empathize and vent the unfairness of life and its many perceived injustices, but I'll spare you. You troubles past has nothing to do with my essay...I'm saying that women have increasingly played the feminist card to overpower men...not all women, mind you, as i clearly state.

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Posted on Dec 15, 2006 at 12:21 PM

Ohsovirgo: I'm sorry you've had a rough past, but who hasn't? For many, life is a biatch, my dear...I can certainly empathize and vent the unfairness of life and its many perceived injustices, but I'll spare you. You troubles past has nothing to do with my essay...I'm saying that women have increasingly played the feminist card to overpower men...not all women, mind you, as i clearly state.

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Posted on Dec 12, 2006 at 10:46 PM

Hey Dude, I hear where you are coming from even in my shoes.Of course I saw the transition and was part of the movement but all along noticed that a percentage would go beyond what I see to be reasonable. There will always be a percentage of the population that have a "reason" ss in past experiences that could have damaged their perception of men in general and the way that they treat them. Also there is a sense of defensiveness that comes from knowing that you really are bound chemically and emotionally to this creature called man. Women have rightfully evolved to there place in society and yes as men , some over step what is norm. Remember sometime these are leaders in the making. Why I say this and I direct it at both sexes. We are all amazed at the power this sexual force has over us. It is only logical to maintain the species and we will not stop it. The force of sexual energy has started wars and created miracles. How we each embrace it is individual, we think we have full control over our lives, our feeling and our emotions. Guess again! There is a far greater force out there that stirs these emotions ,and yes the reaction to lack of control for us.the reaction in this self-sufficient society is to resist and struggle with it rather than embrace it and channel the energy. yes we work out, we diet to find control over what we can. It is that control that gives you the feeling of self confidence, hence let me show you the man, the women and there power, It is feeling good in your own skin. That is where the attraction lies. you feel good about yourself and you are more able to project that ability to give security to another. We are not really that complicated a species we are just very good at making it that way. I feel that we should all respect one an other and in time the future generation will not have knowledge of our struggles. Respect will be of second nature. After all is that not what it is all about? Yes women need to come back to themselves, and be women. Let the men be the men. This is not a competition but a dance of life for all to enjoy. We are even making it OK to be in between. We are getting better, just need more refinement.

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