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Is Family An Issue In Age-Gap Dating? Sort by:
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Posted on Apr 08, 2013 at 11:49 AM

Let's imagine a scenario where a young guy is dating a much older woman who happens to be in the same age bracket as his folks. Or perhaps, she has offspring who are in the same age bracket as her new love interest. Does anyone believe that this situation could cause a conflict or even result in the break-up of their relationship? I mean it could be somewhat awkward at the Thanksgiving dinners, right? Please share your thoughts. Thank you.


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Posted on Dec 11, 2014 at 02:31 AM

I was contacted ten years ago by a young lady that was 25 years old,I was 50 years old,very attractive ,5' 10" tall ,Im 5' 8" .After the third time she gave me her number ,I didn't ask for it, I called her .We met at a park that started a nine and 1/2 year relationship that ended two months ago.Our friends and family had no problems with it.We would get the occasional your dad etc ,etc or your daughter etc etc..We had mant good times ,it was funny to see her get carded when we would go to a restaurant bar,or she would get a couple dodger dogs and cold beer.Hmmmm  dodger   dogs     cold   beer mmmm.Sorry I lost it for a minute .Now I find younger girls being attracted to me ,it is flattering ,because I'm no George Clooney ,closer to Pee Wee Herman.But I am smart got athletic scholarship to Iowa State ,have a degree.A lot depends on how you carry yourself and choose to be,I am always respectful ,good manners,level headed.

 


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Posted on Dec 11, 2013 at 09:25 PM

LOL Funny you should mention that. I have been looking for a younger compatible woman for many years. One day my youngest Daughter made a comment that if I happened to marry someone younger than she happens to be, that she would not listen to or obey her new Mom. I told her, that with her being an adult already, that if I did find someone younger then she was, that she should simply tell her stepmother, respect your elders. That got a laugh out of her and she never felt awkward about my seeking a younger soulmate again.

 


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Posted on Dec 10, 2013 at 08:24 AM

I say screw society . Friends are friends. They don't like it they never where . Those people that buddy up to use your stuff or land while you pay for it. Lol. Actually a sign how great a person you are that some one that much younger still chose you over people there own age . Haters do yhe same and worse things behind everyone's backs shhhh. There the first to jump on the hate wagon . Why I am going younger now cause when younger I let these people dictate my life . Older and younger where my only options . Just out of my range . My best options I turned away :(. Go with what life gives ya to get where you want to be. Then you get older older. Looks even worse when you finaly make your stand.  That means you were not surrounded by team players or good people as well.  You wish well to people you love not rules and propaganda.  


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Posted on Jul 02, 2013 at 07:21 AM

DesertDlite.

 

A 12 year age gap is no big deal anyway depending on the age of the woman.However things get a lot more difficult,in the case of real intergenerational age gap relationships,involving women in their teens or early 20's and middle/late middle aged men or in fact any type of age gap being seen as socially unnacceptable in the case of women of that age.


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Posted on Jun 24, 2013 at 03:05 PM

Absolutely not ! My Dad was 12 years older, than my Mom when they first met in Berlin, Germany back in the late 70's.

I prefer older men, because they make great friends, know how to treat a woman and have wisdom, life experience and integrity that younger men often lack.


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Posted on Jun 17, 2013 at 10:13 PM

JeffM I understand what you are saying and while I do know of a few such happy relationships, in this country we have a lot of Phillipino women who come as nannies.  They work very hard and do a good job but end up in relationships with older, single disgruntled males.  What happens?  Some get married and do well, some get married and become slaves, others (and in my area this is the majority) get pregnant multiple times from older white males who do not contribute to the family income, to the upbringing of the babies and who basically have zero respect for these women or the offspring.  As a feminist, I hate the situation of those relationships in bringing children into the world who do not have both parents.  the mother often sends them back to relatives in the Phillipines for years at a time.  All I end up thinking of are the children who are being used and manipulated by both parents for different reasons


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Posted on Jun 17, 2013 at 10:04 PM

eugenetc.  I loved you comment and totally agree with your perspective.


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Posted on Jun 07, 2013 at 07:47 AM

Quoting JeffMansfield:

Families should really think about the happiness of the two people in the relationship not put a lable on things, If you look at Thai and Filipino women, they will marry people double or tripple their own age and 90% of them have fantastic relationships. Its only in the last hundred years that things have changed, men used to marry girls of 12 and in some states (not all) in the US I think its still legal. But women were fround upon if they were in a relationship with someone younger. Its all bollocks isn't it!



The age thing now seems to have reached ridiculous levels of prejudice and discrimination in society especially in the case of older men looking for younger women.While I don't agree that the Thai,Philipino option is as good as it's sometimes made out to be,which is why I'm not looking to try that idea.However even for those who choose to,the immigration law has now been tightened up to stop such marriages and relationships going ahead anyway.On the basis that the immigration authorities don't believe or agree that large age gap marriages with much younger women are acceptable.Therefore while it's ok for a young bloke to marry a young foreign woman of close age the immigration authorities won't now seem to allow it in the case of an older man and younger woman.Which is blatant age discrimination.

I think the situation has only changed a lot more recently than over the last 100 years.To the point where having lost out myself,in the case of a teenaged girl of my own age who went for someone 30 years older than her during the 1970's,and having attended a wedding between a 16 year old relative and a 47 year old man even in the 1990's,many family and friends who thought nothing of that at the time,now condemn me for looking for a similar type of age gap relationship.The conclusion being that was then this is now with only same or close age relationships being seen as being socially acceptable and girls seeming to be reserved and expected to only go for blokes of around their own age.

From what I can understand of the situation no one these days would accept a young woman in their family going for a much older man without such a relationship being seen as wrong, and seeming to say that anyone in my situation,of having lost out while I was young,just has to accept the situation that I'm never going to be able to have a young wife to have a family with.Bearing in mind that I think it's wrong for middle aged women to start a family,which seems to be the only socially acceptable option now open to anyone in my situation.

Ironically societal values seem to have changed in that regard to the point whereby it would probably be seen as being more socially acceptable for someone in my situation to be involved with a married woman of around my own age than it would be for me to be involved with her young single daughter.Which says it all about how the age issue has now turned into a nightmare for any older bloke who's still unlucky enough to be single and looking for a young wife.

 

 


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Posted on Jun 07, 2013 at 12:54 AM

Families should really think about the happiness of the two people in the relationship not put a lable on things, If you look at Thai and Filipino women, they will marry people double or tripple their own age and 90% of them have fantastic relationships. Its only in the last hundred years that things have changed, men used to marry girls of 12 and in some states (not all) in the US I think its still legal. But women were fround upon if they were in a relationship with someone younger. Its all bollocks isn't it!


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Posted on Jun 03, 2013 at 12:48 AM

Those who pay not my bills

run not my life

Doing things the old way makes you old

and bitter Before you time

Go with your heart

Cause you won't have

one at the end.

Life is too short to

live for those who raised you.

Respect, yes

Dominance nien



We need to change from within more than Botox treatments, spas, and fat farms, liposuction and face lifts. Those classes after work at the community college or online may actually give us a new perspective on ourselves and our expectations in life. Changing the way we eat, consume, spend, and view others may see a natural change for the better. The world is full of goblins of our own making. Most people (even online) are good. It's about high but reasonable expectations from everyone.
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Posted on May 31, 2013 at 10:03 AM

bff411

 

 

 

In the case of OM/YW relationships the 'issues' are more likely to be mostly from the point of view of the younger woman's family rather than the older man's being that his family are probably too old to care or for him to listen to.In which case the usual answer from him to his own family would be they've had their life and it's nothing to do with them anyway who he chooses to date regardless of the woman's age.Although sometimes those cases where the older man has children form a previous marriage who are as young or even older than the woman in question can be the exception which proves the rule.

 

My own experiences,of looking for a ( much ) younger woman,seem to confirm most of that.At least in the case of many young women being put off even trying the idea of an OM/YW relationship by family pressures and modern day societal expectations.While in my case sometimes having to tell my own remaining older,and close age,relatives  to mind their own business,at least in the case of those of them who don't like my own search criterea in still looking for a young wife to have a family with having missed out when I was young.

 

 

 

 


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Posted on May 30, 2013 at 03:51 PM

Unfortunately, I sense that conflicts are far too common within families.  If it's not over one thing, it's over another.  The age gap issue really isn't that unique, is it?  Personally, I think I'd try to keep the peace with my closest family, and there are ways to go about this that are better than others.  Should that fail, I think I'd let my love interest win the day.


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Posted on Apr 11, 2013 at 10:08 PM

nycboy you are quite right in all of your assumptions.  I was with a man 20years my junior for 14 years.  Initially my family was very standoffish in his presence but when we carried on going about our daily lives, they came to accept him,  I cannot say that in the end they really liked him or the situation but it was not because of the age gap, rather because he ended up being unmotivated and lazy.  They thought I might end up having to support a deadbeat and that was when I kicked him out.......


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Posted on Apr 11, 2013 at 10:00 PM

When you really love and care for your family,you  just want them to be happy, people that think otherwise are just not worth spending Thanks Giving with.


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Posted on Apr 08, 2013 at 05:20 PM

From the point of view of being an older man,looking for a much younger woman,the issue of parental and family pressures being put on young women to conform,with modern day ideas, concerning the unacceptability of large age gap relationships,is a nightmare.As are family attitudes  to any bloke who's much older wanting to date a younger woman.

It seems strange how different that situation seems to be to how things were in the 1970's when I was young.At that time such parental and family pressures on young women,concerning whatever type of relationship they chose,regardless of wether it was large age gap or same/close age,didn't seem to even exist or be a factor whatsoever.


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Posted on Apr 08, 2013 at 03:09 PM

nycboy, Wow! great Blog, I don't think anyone has addressed this before on here. When I first Married my ex husband and came to the USA, I was given a hard time by my Mother in Law but not because of the 16 year age gap, I was accused of having an affair with the Father in Law. both he and I and my Husband were Horrified. and there was no reason whatsover in any behaviour for her to say this. But I was picked on mainly because I was from England, they used to call me "The Red Coat" and "City Girl" by his immediate family, His Sisters were okay to me, and his Aunt and cousins from Kentucky were always lovely and loved me being from England. and I had a Mexican Sister in Law who still is my friend. Despite all of that the Marriage lasted 20 yrs :-) and he admits I was a really good wife to him. He has Married again to another Older woman. [but not being catty here] is not nice looking but shares his Man interests, where's I would not participate but always went along and supported him with his Mechanical Interests. But there you go these things happen, I think that happened so that I am free to meet the next Love in my life. :-) and I so enjoy being feminine.


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