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Posted on Oct 13, 2008 at 11:21 AM

What makes us attracted to one person and not another? For some it is based solely on how someone looks. There is nothing wrong with physical beauty. It can be what draws our attention to a certain individual. Sometimes this can be good. However, over a period of time looks change. As we grow older, we lose the look of our youth. Basing attraction solely on one's physical looks can set us up for disappointment down the road. Not everyone has the same level of physical beauty. Some are more physically beautiful than others. Is it fair to reject someone because of something in which they have no control? There is more to attraction than an individual's looks. Another problem with basing attraction on how someone looks is that it can lead to a physical attraction. Once someone becomes appealing in this manner an entire new set of circumstances will arise. Although the attraction in itself is not wrong, it can lead to tempting situations. For a mature couple this may be easy to deal with. However, if one or both individual's have not reached a certain level of maturity, then the situations may not be handled well. Abstinence is a sure way to find out if the physical attraction is real or if hormones have taken over. You should never allow hormones to get the best of you to discover down the road that you do not find your partner to be appealing. To do so may set you and your partner up for a life of disappointment. Not engaging in pre-marital sex while taking the time to get to know one another as a person will reveal true physical attraction in due time. A third aspect of attraction is inner beauty. Sometimes an individual's inner beauty comes shining through from the moment of meeting, whether in person or on-line. With other people it may take some time for their true inner beauty to be recognized. Inner beauty is part of what makes someone who they are. Over a period of time people change. Fortunately, they can change in a positive way. Someone with a positive approach to life who receives proper nurturing will grow into a better person over a period of time. When inner beauty is the basis of attraction, there tends to be a quality present in a relationship that otherwise is not there. Another element of attraction is someone's mind. I am not referring to intellect, although intellect can be attractive. Everyone can have a different perspective to circumstances or a situation. Often, a perspective that is different from our own can be valuable. In searching for a significant other it is wise to look for someone who's thoughts compliment our own. We can find growth in other people's thoughts as we none know everything. However, this does take listening skills, patience and open-mindedness. It is wise to allow someone their thoughts as it is a part of who they are. Someone with average intelligence can have beautiful thoughts. Finally, appearance attributes to one's attractiveness. What message are you attempting to send? The way you dress may not send what you desire. Dressing pretentiously when you are actually conservative will attract someone different from whom you are seeking. One should dress cautiously. Also, there is cleanliness. One's cleanliness will sometimes say more than what anybody actually wants to know. Cleanliness attracts cleanliness. Drabby and irate will attract drabby and irate. Physical beauty may be what many consider attractiveness. It is not all there is. Attractiveness also includes physical attraction, inner beauty, a person's mind and one's appearance. A wise individual will consider another person as a whole individual, taking into account all aspects of attractiveness, not simply how they look.

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Posted on Dec 29, 2009 at 11:10 PM

Pro Dude may have most guys pegged, but; there are a few of us looking for the long term. I have noted over the years that the more interests two people have in common the better the chance things will last. So; while I look at that which is physical I also look as to how much we have in common. I am not a white tail buck looking to rutt. Wolves and hawks mate for life.

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Posted on Dec 27, 2008 at 10:44 AM

I'm in a library in the great white north of New Hampshire so I'll have to get back to ya on this... Happy Holidays to all.

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Posted on Dec 07, 2008 at 03:33 AM

C'mon Gig, we are waiting for your take on this = at least I am.

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Posted on Nov 19, 2008 at 11:04 AM

For me, attraction starts with a woman's curves - this is hard to ignore and can put a man to his knees. After this, personalty and sensuality can make a man put in overtime to return the satisfaction. Finally, bedroom behavior (agressive/creative) can take attraction to a whole new level and make a man forget all other women in the world. Just my take.

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Posted on Nov 18, 2008 at 11:35 PM

And addressing this issue from a female perspective: a male with toned abs and a tight butt, a cute smile and no belly, bald or hairy is of no importance, a sense of humour especially if you do not take yourself too seriously. We women generally do not care for large breasts on a man, nor a large belly,but long legs and butt to chest ratio could be important. Now gentlemen do you feel like the piece of meat that HPD is describing?

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Posted on Nov 13, 2008 at 05:05 PM

Still collating on this one...

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Posted on Oct 17, 2008 at 07:20 PM

While everything you say has an element of truth it is often also true that the attraction comes first and the analysis after. There is chemistry in odor/pheremones - things that one is not conscious of; in a sense of humour; there are too many aspects of attraction to reduce it to only a couple of observations.

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Posted on Oct 17, 2008 at 12:11 PM

Your post is articulate, but let's keep it simple, shall we? Here are what most guys think makes a woman attractive: Hip-to-bust ratio (i.e. big boobs, small waist) Butt (i.e. shapely) Legs (longer the better) Hair (longer the better) Aside from that, women need not be funny, etc. Those are all a girl needs to be attractive.

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