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Thoughts of the future and the numbers thing...

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I'm truly enjoying life with my sweetlove. :) I'm 47 and he's 29. We're happily in love and love each other very much! However, something that I've quit doing for about a year or so is now creeping back into my psyche. It's the numbers thing. I used to think, "Ten years from now, I'll be 56 and he'll only be 38..." It wrecks havoc on my confidence and with my ability to experience and enjoy this beautiful relationship for what it is. Just recently, I began doing this numbers thing again and I know I really need to stop! Sometimes I wonder if he does the numbers thing also, but I know I'll never ask him. I don't want to ask him because I'm afraid it will "remind" him of how old I really am. I know that sounds silly, but sometimes I can't help but think that.


I'd like to know from the other women (or men) on here if they have also done the numbers thing and if they've stopped, how they did it and what mental processes they've gone through to achieve that. My significant other more than likely doesn't do the numbers thing - and if my age doesn't bother him and he doesn't think about it - why can't I accept that and just enjoy the love that we share?



Posted on May 23, 2012 at 08:24 AM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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I must remark, It doesn't look as if you have any age difference whatsoever. Joy and happiness in your love for each other.

Posted on Sep 06, 2012 at 02:48 AM 1 Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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I want to thank everyone who responded to my post! I also took a break from this site because I was growing weary of always coming back here to check for responses and not seeing any. I've managed to stop thinking so much about this and just enjoying our love and times we share together. But that's hard to do when you look at the media and even people in real life who seem to favor and be more attracted to younger people. Even though I don't look my age or feel it, I know what my chronological age is; and it never really bothered me that much until I met my sweetlove. I try to eat right, exercise when I can and take care of myself so I can look and be the best that I can be. He says that I'm beautiful, sexy and cute...and when I look in the mirror, I try to see what he sees. Sometimes I see it, but most of the time I don't. But, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He loves me for the person I am inside as well as outside. And I love him the same way as well. That's all that really matters, right? :)


Posted on Aug 09, 2012 at 08:23 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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well this post is a few months old.  I hope that you have resolved your issue, but I would like to add a thought for you to ponder...

A great remedy for stress and mental harmony is the healing power of laughter and joy. Joy is one of natures greatest medicines. joy is always healthful. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal. So, silv9427 is right! Look at the enjoyment that you and your partner share, focus on the good in your relationship... /smile and find laughter and your mind will regain its mental harmony.


Posted on Jul 09, 2012 at 08:15 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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donatela I really liked  your response to this blog and it set me thinking quite a bit afterwards too.  funny how a little simple wisdom can become so inspiring.


Posted on Jul 06, 2012 at 09:56 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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 There are many factors that are important in a relationship, but age isn't one of them, while maturity is.  I've had a 3 year relationship with a fellow who was 37 when I was 67, but it didn't last longer than that for other factirs than our ages. 

As far as your worrying about the numbers, remember that a belief is only a thought you keep thinking, and you can change your thoughts, so you can change a belief that doesn't serve you. And....if you understand anything about the way the Universe works, you might know that "worrying is using your imagination to create what you don't want," so if you keep focusing on it, that's what you'll get.    


Posted on Jul 02, 2012 at 11:25 PM 1 Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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sorry I did not respond sooner - I took a break from this site for a few months.  Well the reason I wanted us to separate is because he had not advanced socially, spiritually or economically from the first moment i met him.  In fact he became complacent and after a number of years, I felt like I was in a stagnant situation.  I embrace change and challenge while he had given up.  Since we went different ways, we are much better friends.  Meet maybe a couple of times a year and have a good laugh together.


Posted on Jun 14, 2012 at 10:08 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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well i think if you are with some one it dosenot watter i am in with a older woman and it is not that inporaton to me we had a boy 12 years ago she is 56 and iam 48 i know that the age is not that different but we love won anther and that all that matters

 

 


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Posted on Jun 10, 2012 at 09:50 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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I have mentioned this many times on here, So its old news, but I had a 20 year Marriage with a man 16 years younger than me, the break up was nothing to do with an Age Difference, in actual fact it was never mentioned throughout the Marriage, we both had children from a previous Marriage and he always said he did not want any more, Just enjoy the love you have, respect each other and be happy. :-)


Posted on Jun 10, 2012 at 04:05 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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@Silv and Helena: Thanks to both of you for your advice. However, I didn't meet my guy on an age gap website, it was a talk show host's website. You're right about how a person being older doesn't necessarily mean they're going to die sooner than the younger person. Helena, why did you end the relationship after being happily together for 14 years? Because you both knew you all wouldn't be having any kids? Didn't he know and realize that after several years of being together with you? Did he change his mind about wanting a baby at some point? About a year into our relationship my guy confided in me that, although he likes kids and thinks they're cute, he doesn't want to have any because of the responsibility it would be to take care of them and to raise them. So, thankfully that is one issue that we have already dealt with and accepted.


Posted on May 31, 2012 at 10:05 AM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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@Lovethekitty: Wow. What you did was very drastic; but your heart was in the right place. Whether you're not sure if you did "the right thing" or not is moot now. You wanted a "better life" for her. For her sake I hope she is having a better life now without you than what she had when you two were together. You truly loved her - and she truly loved you. I wonder though...how is her life better now that you're not in it anymore? Because maybe she can have kids if she wants to? Or because she can find someone to "grow old" with? To me, love is a precious PRECIOUS gift...and not everyone is lucky enough to find it. I believe that age gap relationships occur because souls are born into bodies that don't match their spirit. I feel that my guy has an old soul - you'd have to be around him and hear the things he says so you could understand what I mean. And he feels the same about me. Thanks for your input though. ;) I think over time (at least I hope so) I'll stop focusing on the numbers thing and focus more on our happiness together.


Posted on May 31, 2012 at 09:27 AM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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I spent 14 happy years with a man 20 years my junior.  We did have lots of fun, laugher, good intimacy but we always knew that we would not have a family, we recognized the limitations in life.  I regret nothing there and when I finally told him we needed to move on, we remained good friends - even to this day.  So no, quite the numbers agony and accept your relationship as it is

 


Posted on May 30, 2012 at 08:32 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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For me, the shoe was on the other foot.  The gap was slightly wider, and though we talked about it often, I couldn't stop doing what you seem to be caught up in too.  She assured me that the future would take care of itself, but I couldn't come to grips with the fact that when I was much older, she wouldn't be.  I'm afraid my input will not bring a smile to your face.  I loved her more than life itself, and I had zero concerns about her love for me.  But I couldn't help but want a better life for her.  I couldn't stop thinking that she deserved to live a life that could include things that we wouldn't have.  I left.  It was the hardest thing I ever did.  Some have told me that I was wrong.  It's been years, and still even I'm not sure I did the right thing.  I don't envy you.  I hope you can overcome your insecurity, and I certainly wish you the best of luck.


Posted on May 27, 2012 at 06:02 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report
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well I'm guessing he knows how old you are right?????? so STOP doing the numbers thing. The way I think about it is. Well I met them on an age gap site and they specified an age acceptance and I fell into the criteria and whos to say I'm gonna die of old age!! or that he will die of old age!! so just enjoy what you have and take each day as it comes enjoy now, and forget about the future.


Posted on May 27, 2012 at 02:41 PM Like Reply / Add Comments Quote Report