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Posted on Jul 15, 2013 at 04:38 PM

For those  (men and women alike) who are the older of the realtionships, how do you/will you handle the day when your mate decides the age is just too much of a difference. Frankly, I can't see this not happening unless you have millions of bucks and they stand to get a large chunk lol.

I know it has to be on your minds if you are in a realtionship. In most things I am a realist and know human nature for what it is. Tell us..how do you cope or plan to cope when that day arrives? Because we all make promises to love forever and many times that is just not possible.



SherSumFun and happiness, life is too short
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Posted on Sep 18, 2017 at 11:38 PM

why do you why do you think Trump wife is with him money money he is a gold digger

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Posted on Sep 30, 2013 at 01:37 PM

SSF I think you are absolutely right to anticipate such an ending because in most cases it does happen - please note that I said most because there is the rare exception.  A lot depends on the size of the age gap though and on both people concerned. 

If you went back a few years in these blogs you would find I have had those same convos with Jag repeatedly. 

I have connected with a much younger man (initially online) that  has lasted over a year.  As you suggest and we both recognize, this is not a permanent relationship.  The gap is over 40 years and while we have had a load of fun, and continue to do so, both of us know full well that one day it will end. You just have to be aware and go a day at a time and enjoy yourself.  Personally I think problems arise when there isn't such an understanding from the beginning and people start thinking about "forever" stuff.  He will be young/middle-aged when I am dead and he will continue to enjoy life and have fond memories of me.  That for me is enough


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Posted on Aug 07, 2013 at 06:23 AM

lite sorry no SSf's comments aren't a factual account of the real negative aspects of 'many' age gap relationships whatsoever.Especially her account of those issues concerning OM/YW relationships which are just typical feminist garbage.


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Posted on Aug 07, 2013 at 01:08 AM

Jag, SSF was only pointing out some Historic facts, that were in many cases true, although not for everyone. Your comment was nasty in many ways and you had no understanding (or even tried) of what she was trying to say. seems to me that unless every person has to listen to you blame everyone and everything and agrees with all YOU say. never even read anyone elses comments without finding a reason to tell your own story again and again which really has nothing to do with the subject of the Blog.


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Posted on Aug 03, 2013 at 03:46 PM

Quoting SherSumFun:

Jag, if you knew me better as a person you would see how terribly wrong you are about me. I do think you jumped to a lot of conclusions based on very little facts.  To each their own. Many times written word is taken in a wrong context simply because the reader can punctuate the reading as they wish or want to. Calm down Jag. There are many many stories on each side of this topic. Some are good some are not so happy when over. But that is the same as any lifestyle relationship, isn't it?

Just as in any type of relationship people can be drawn to a "type" of person for all the right reasons as well as all the wrong ones. In the end its up to the 2 in the relationship to be honest with each other and determine if its worth pursuing. Seems you have quite a bit of propaganda yourself, but that is the human way is it not?  It's called opinions between friends and propaganda if the other side of the coin is not depicted by one who thinks different.  Some of your thoughts on ow/ym may be true in small amount of cases but not all.  But I welcome your right to give your views,,,thank you for posting!


The way I read your comments firstly you're saying that all age gap couples will reach a stage where the age difference becomes untenable and that at that stage it's only money that would keep them together.

 

 

Then you've contradicted yourself by firstly saying that OM/YW relationships historically mainly involved young women being reserved for older men who they were then married off to against their will for financial stability issues.While the resulting shortage of younger women meant that younger men of those young women's own age had to look for an older woman or go without.You've then jumped to the conclusion that that situation in some way made the OW/YM relationship the more loving of the two types.

 

 

When at best your idea could only mean that both types of relationship were as bad as each other from that point of view because what actually happened was that young men lost out with the young women of their own age thereby leaving them with the choice of going for an older woman who they chose out of desperation rather than choice.While the young women were forced into relationships which they didn't want with a man chosen on grounds of financial standing not love.

 

 

When the reality in the case of most OM/YW relationships regardless of what point in history, is that the younger woman actually chooses the older man herself.In 'some' of those cases that choice is probably made based on one of,or a combination of,those reasons which I've listed as being negative aspects of the age gap relationship scene.IE the experience thing,or the father figure thing,or the money thing.In many other cases it will just be a case of blind love in which the age of the man means nothing to her.In all cases the result will probably be that a young bloke of her own age will lose out to that situation and in most cases the young bloke in question won't seek solace in the arms of an older woman because of that reason which I've given concerning the child bearing abilities of an older woman and physical attraction issues.The result being that bloke then gets left on the shelf in the ( probably vain ) hope of finding an age gap relationship with a younger woman later himself.On that subject,unlike you,I'm speaking from experience.  


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Posted on Aug 03, 2013 at 08:48 AM

Quoting litenbrite:

Jag, of course I do take it personaly because you have said that is going against nature for an older woman to be with a younger man.....nothing is against nature if it brings both people in question JOY and HAPPINESS. and yes I was standing up for Shersumfun, because I have seen you do this before to other peoples Blogs, again and again saying the same thing. and it ends up that you have never contributed anything positive or given anyone else any encouragement over any subject, you always bring it back to the Feminist and your lot in life, I should imagine you have had a very good life for yourself as I am sure you had a lot more luxery because you never had a wife and family to support. when are you going to admit that you have always had freedom and choices. and stop Whining, its just miserable. I do believe that everyone has some degree of goodness and understanding for their fellow human beings, so why cant you express that part of yourself. instead of keep repeating the negative all the time. I am sure you must have something that is a little more uplifting to contribute.


lite

 

Firstly the topic itself as posted by SSF is actually all about what she ( incorrectly ) percieves as a negative aspect of age gap relationships.IE as I've told her anyone who enters into such a relationship does so knowing all the implications of that and if they've got it wrong from the outset no amount of money will make the slightest difference.

 

As I've said I was then actually replying to SSF's following comments concerning the basis of most OM/YW relationships historically,not yours.While if it's ok for her to make some ( innacurate ) stereotypical comments,concerning OM/YW relationships,then I can't see why I can't do similar in regards to OW/YM ones except that mine are based more on reality than hers were.

 

As for my comments,regarding the negative aspects of feminism,and it's connection to the topic and SSF's typically feminist views regarding OM/YW relationships through history,as far as I know you're not a feminist so those comments were never meant to apply to you so I don't see why you'd see that as an issue.However if the cap fits wear it as you obviously seem to be defending SSF's flawed views on the subject.

 

In regards to my own situation,as I've said,I've actually made some ( unlike SSF's views ) accurate observations of the negative aspects of the OM/YW scene,which is why I consider that I'm now in the situation I find myself in,in addition to those which I've made concerning the negative aspects of the OW/YM scene.IE in the case of the former the motives of too many of the few  available young women out there are either looking for the experience thing in the form of married/seperated/divorced blokes while leaving single ones on the shelf,or they've got some sad issues in which they fantasise about having a relationship with someone who they see as their father which is anyone's guess how they've arrived at that idea,or it's just the money thing in which case they are just hookers to all intents and purposes.

 

While in the case of OW/YM relationships the most likely negative scenario,is that of the young bloke,who mistakenly thinks that an old woman who is past her child bearing years,can still make a wife but then changes his mind later in which case that woman is going to be more hurt by that situation  than if she hadn't have started the relationship in the beginning. 

 

None of which is not relevant to the topic.It's just that for some reason you seem to have taken offence to those accurate observations,concerning the real world,just because they might not be what you want to hear.However that doesn't make what I've said any less relevant to the topic or less of an accurate view of real life in regards to the negative issues which can apply to age gap relationships.IE what matters is that my comments are relevant to the topic as posted by SSF and that they are accurate.Unlike SSF's erroneous ideas,in which she seems to be applying the stereotypical feminist ideas concerning the motives of OM/YW relationships over the years and/or she seems to think that it's all about the age thing and money in all cases.

When the fact is if a couple enters into an age gap relationship the younger party isn't likely to suddenly at a later stage realise that the older partner is older, because they already knew that to start with.While if it's all about money then that would have applied from the start and in that regard the age issue would be irrelevant.

While as I've said the negative aspects of OM/YW relationships have nothing whatsoever to do with any young woman being forced into a relationship against her will at least in the civilised western world and since the end of Victorian days.However in the case of the accurate negative aspects of age gap relationships,which I've described,I'd actually support the idea of modern day societal rejection of such relationships.But as I've said in general that resistance is more often driven by the unjustified issues as described by SSF and which I've taken issue with her about and which are mostly driven by the feminist agenda.IE if society really wants to stamp out age gap relationships then do it for the right reasons in which case that should apply to both OM/YW and OW/YM relationships equally for all the reasons I've given.It shouldn't be applied on the basis of the insecurities and resulting raving erroneous feminist views and propaganda,which are being applied on a discriminatory basis,just in respect of OM/YW relationships.As I've also said if you find that unnacceptable then tough.


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Posted on Aug 03, 2013 at 01:57 AM

Jag, of course I do take it personaly because you have said that is going against nature for an older woman to be with a younger man.....nothing is against nature if it brings both people in question JOY and HAPPINESS. and yes I was standing up for Shersumfun, because I have seen you do this before to other peoples Blogs, again and again saying the same thing. and it ends up that you have never contributed anything positive or given anyone else any encouragement over any subject, you always bring it back to the Feminist and your lot in life, I should imagine you have had a very good life for yourself as I am sure you had a lot more luxery because you never had a wife and family to support. when are you going to admit that you have always had freedom and choices. and stop Whining, its just miserable. I do believe that everyone has some degree of goodness and understanding for their fellow human beings, so why cant you express that part of yourself. instead of keep repeating the negative all the time. I am sure you must have something that is a little more uplifting to contribute.


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Posted on Aug 01, 2013 at 06:58 AM

Quoting litenbrite:

Jag, You always have to slur older women like in your last dig about OW/YM being against nature. I never slur Older men for wanting a younger woman and I have made it quite clear in many of my Blogs. and a few things you wrote were nasty. I don't like insults and do not take them. Just because you are frutrated and CRABBY its not my fault, its your own. you are responsible for your own life. Just as I am mine. I am mostly very friendly and understanding but we have heard the same old thing from you for yrs. I thought you had started to mellow out, but obviously havn't.


lite I really can't understand why you've taken all that so personally being that it wasn't even directed at you at all.In this case I was actually replying to SSF's comments,not yours,in which she seems to be making it quite clear at least where she stands on the issue of OM/YW relationships throughout history.IE the same old feminst bs concerning too younger girls being forced against their will into loveless marriages with too older blokes on the grounds that it was considered what's 'best for them'.In addition to which she also seems to think that in many cases it's all about the money thing.

 

However just to prove I'm not biased or saying anything which just applies to older women in general if you look over on the forum posts you'll also see that I've also been telling it like it is in relation to the 'real' issues and downsides concerning OM/YW relationship scene.

 

The way I see it there is a problem concerning the feminist propaganda in regards to views concerning the OM/YW scene.Just as there is a problem within the OM/YW scene,concerning the morals and motives of too many of the few available young women.I've not said anything there which isn't a true reflection of reality and the real world.If you find any of that a problem tough. 

 

 

 

 


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Posted on Aug 01, 2013 at 04:07 AM

Jag, You always have to slur older women like in your last dig about OW/YM being against nature. I never slur Older men for wanting a younger woman and I have made it quite clear in many of my Blogs. and a few things you wrote were nasty. I don't like insults and do not take them. Just because you are frustrated and CRABBY its not my fault, its your own. you are responsible for your own life. Just as I am mine. I am mostly very friendly and understanding but we have heard the same old thing from you for yrs. I thought you had started to mellow out, but obviously havn't.


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Posted on Jul 30, 2013 at 03:46 PM

lite it is possible that I 'might' have read more into SSF's comments than she actually meant although I based that view on the content of her post in which she 'seemed' to be writing those comments,regarding societal changes in attitude against OM/YW relationships,in the context of her agreeing with those societal changes herself especially that final sentence which seemed to suggest that love generally isn't historically a factor in forming the foundations OM/YW relationships together with her previous comments which seemed to suggest that money has historically been one of the more important driving factors ?.Ironically that is probably more the case in recent times since that societal shift took place putting most young women off such relationships.Which,with a few exceptions,just mainly leaves those young women with less honourable motives making up the OM/YW scene. 

However I'd stand by the idea that there's often a large scale hypocritical contribution by the feminist cause in general.At least in respect of supporting modern societal taboos,that steer young women away from the possibility of large age gap OM/YW relationships,on grounds of the age issue in itself being seen as negative in some way in the case of OM/YW relationships but not in the case of OW/YM ones,and/or sometimes even same or close age ones also being seen as negative,in the case of the issue of young women who wish to put the priority on early marriage and motherhood as opposed to them concentrating on further education and a career.Id also stand by the idea that in general there is also often a hypocritical link between the OW/YM scene and feminism and that in many cases the reasoning as to why many older women see OM/YW relationships as a negative thing are because of the reasons I described.I'd also stand by my views concerning the relative merits between OM/YW and OW/YM age gap relationship,or for that matter even same/close age ones,in the real world.All of which was just meant in the context of telling it like it is not anything 'vicious',as you described it,at all.


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Posted on Jul 30, 2013 at 11:47 AM

Jag, if you knew me better as a person you would see how terribly wrong you are about me. I do think you jumped to a lot of conclusions based on very little facts.  To each their own. Many times written word is taken in a wrong context simply because the reader can punctuate the reading as they wish or want to. Calm down Jag. There are many many stories on each side of this topic. Some are good some are not so happy when over. But that is the same as any lifestyle relationship, isn't it?

Just as in any type of relationship people can be drawn to a "type" of person for all the right reasons as well as all the wrong ones. In the end its up to the 2 in the relationship to be honest with each other and determine if its worth pursuing. Seems you have quite a bit of propaganda yourself, but that is the human way is it not?  It's called opinions between friends and propaganda if the other side of the coin is not depicted by one who thinks different.  Some of your thoughts on ow/ym may be true in small amount of cases but not all.  But I welcome your right to give your views,,,thank you for posting!



SherSumFun and happiness, life is too short
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Posted on Jul 29, 2013 at 06:49 PM

Jag, You are doing it again, Why are you always seeing the negative in everyones explanations...and OW/YM are not to blame for your bitterness. Drop the bitterness and vicious remarks and you never know you might attract some LOVE. And many men cannot perform intimacy without VIAGRA is the fact that they take a pill going against biology and the laws of nature? I say good luck to them if that extends their joy of sex. and older women can be still very attractive. I have never been jealous of young women its nice to see them look beautiful. It doesn't mean that an older woman can't be mature and be beautiful too.


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Posted on Jul 21, 2013 at 04:44 AM

SSF it's easy to see that reading between the lines of those comments of yours that they contain the typical hypocricy so often found amongst older women in their view of OM/YW relationships.IE there's always a biased undertone that they've never been acceptable only tolerated at best but with negative aspects which outweigh any positive ones.The hypocricy of that being that those older women seem to think that OW/YM relationships are in some way a better more positive type of relationship and that there's something wrong with women having a family at as young an age as is legally possible,especially if that relationship involves a much older man.

 

 

The fact is the present situation,of societal rejection of large age gap OM/YW relationships,is based in large part on the typically feminist outlook of older women,who firstly want to see young women locked away in school and colleges putting a career first,and then having a family later in life when it's all too late.Often requiring IVF intervention and in which the law of averages says that many of those children will lose their mother to old age when they themsleves are only in their 40's maybe sooner.Which is a situation which applies regardless of the age gap issue.

 

 

In addition to which is then the issue of all that and the age thing.In which case all the above applies but in addition to that the older age of the man is then made out to have lots of negative aspects,varying from accusations that it's impossible for an older man to love a much younger woman and the idea that older men can't father healthy children.None of which in fact is true in reality.

 

 

Which just leaves the reasoning behind such feminist propaganda.It's my bet that in the first case it's all about jealousy in that older women covet the child bearing abilities of younger women.While not coming to terms with the loss of their own knowing that it makes them less attractive from the point of view of most men of all ages.

 

 

While in the second case it's owing to that jealousy which is the cause,added to the the real threat which that loss of physical attraction creates,for their long term prospects in relationships,in which many marriages break down for that reason in the case of an older man running out on his same/close age marriage for a newer model to have another family.In view of the above it's obvious that same or close age relationships/marriages are built on weak foundations in that obvious regard based on human nature and biology.While OW/YM relationships are built on even weaker foundations in that same regard.In which case it's the OM/YW type of relationship which is closest to the ideal.While for every year past puberty that a woman leaves having a family means one less year that she'll be around for her children.While in the case of the father that issue isn't as important.

 

 

To put it simply feminism is actually helping to create a type of hell in regards to human relationships in large part seemingly based on the distorted views,insecurities and reasoning of older women.While unfortunately for any older single bloke,who's so far been left on the shelf and hoping for a chance in life to have a young wife and family,the change in societal outlook which that situation has created has effectively condemned us to die single and without the chance to have a family of our own.

 

 

In addition to all that it's obvious that younger men these days would be happy with that situation because it's more likely to guarantee them a reserved supply of the few available young women ( which is a luxury which I didn't have when I was young myself during the 1970's ) which is what I think is behind the governments' support of such feminist ideology.But who will no doubt change their view later when they get older themselves,either in the case of the ones who get left on the shelf,or those who start looking for a newer model.

 

 

As for the OW/YM scene the fact is it really goes against all the laws of nature and biology which is why it's always been seen as a type of flawed age gap relationship.


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Posted on Jul 20, 2013 at 03:35 PM

jjeff, I do agree with you that times were different back in grand dads time as far as what was exceptable and considered a better future for young barely in puberty girls. I do know that since the beginning, puberty was reached at the same age as now, What has changed is how society views sex and the ages.  Back then life span was a whole lot shorter than now, so having children at 12, 13, 14 certainly was not unheard of.   Back then parents often tried to partner up a coming of age daughter with am older established man to guarantee a bit better life for her. 

There were very good reasons for the age gap being accepted back then. What was not broadcast, as same as today, was the ow/ym relationship. Oh yes it went on, especially in mining towns where women were far less in number than men. My grandmother was older than my grandfather. I had 2 great aunts older than my uncles. It was just not talked about. If all the young girls were promised out to older men, just where do you think these young men had left to turn to?  Those women were not cougars, it was a survival of people to overcome lonliness and have a companion, it was human nature is all. And yes, the ow/ym relationship probably began with a lot more real love in it than the other because each chose it, not pushed into it.



SherSumFun and happiness, life is too short
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Posted on Jul 18, 2013 at 01:03 PM

So Who is a "Cougar" Not me, and do not like labels. I am a woman. and relationships are not just down to sex, its down to feeling. I wouldnt entertain anyone with your insulting attitude.


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Posted on Jul 17, 2013 at 05:00 AM

My thoughts...lol  Cougars Cannot do the same thing as a man can.... all will eventually move on.. you got your play toy for a while... but your batteries mite have run out... as for the age thing.. I know of at least 5 cples... from back in the 50's that made it ok.. and I can go back further than that... my grandfather was married to a woman. 12 yr's younger than him... this had been going on for century's.... basically it's the new age that dont know squat about times back then.. but talking to my 104 yr old grandad about his life in civil war times... it WAS NOT unheard of.. in fact it went on allot more back then.. than today.


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Posted on Jul 17, 2013 at 03:17 AM

I do not agree at all that an age gap relationship has to end, I was Married to a man 16 yrs younger than me for 20 yrs, He ended up leaving me for an older woman, and has now married her. Age gap relationships run in my family my Grandmother was left a widow in her 50s and then took up with a man 14 yrs younger than her (unheard of in those times) they were a devoted couple always together, he passed away when she was 80, and she lived until she was 96, and still missed him every day. so no, it isnt inevetable, it all depends on the degree of love and loyalty you have for each other and has nothing to do with age, We are all unique individuels. I also know of quite a few other age gap couples that have stayed together and it didnt involve money. I would never want to hold on to anyone that didn't want me, neither would I start a relationship with someone that was half hearted about me. and certainly wouldnt drool over a man just because he was young....he would have to be drooling over me too. Lol!   


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Posted on Jul 16, 2013 at 05:11 PM

SSF I think there's a flaw in your view there.If a girl is happy to go for a much older man knowing from day 1 that he's not rich and never likely to be then it's obvious that money isn't ever going to be a factor from that point on in the relationship.A real age gap relationship,at least the OM/YW type,takes a very special type of girl.She'll be the type who'll think nothing of having to face all the challenges of modern day societal rejection against such relationships and will be able to face all the implications of being with someone who is aging at a different level and who,on the law of averages,will be gone long before her.

 

How do I know that you may ask.Because I lost out with such a girl of my own age as a teenager who married an ordinary working class bloke 30 years older than her and the last I heard they were still happily married.


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Posted on Jul 16, 2013 at 05:03 PM

Photocat,  I think you have a realistic way of thinking and appear to be able to have will power to stay on the path that is right for you, I applaud you.  I do agree, when the fancination and comfort of being with your partner is no longer there, it's time to be honest and live and let live. I do agree with that way of thinking.

It is all these people we interact with all through life that helps to mold us, and it's up to each individual in what light they want to view it.



SherSumFun and happiness, life is too short
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