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Posted on Feb 23, 2008 at 07:18 PM

I have been a member here for 1 week and in that 1 week I have chatted with several guys. They are nice guys, all of them, but there is something that concerns me. Is it just me or is this happening to you other women here on this dating web site. So far, 90% of the guys that I have chatted with, immediately or soon after first chatting online, start talking about sex and I don't mean in casual ways either. I think to myself, "what if you just met me in person face to face, would you be talking to me like this? Would you be asking me these types of questions?" I came to this dating web site to hopefully meet a guy who is seriously wanting to date an older woman, not just an older woman to have cyber sex with. It takes alot of courage to open oneself up to the younger man/older woman relationship because it is not the norm, it is not traditional. It also takes alot of courage to open yourself up to meeting someone online. There are certain trust issues that first need to be earned...established when you meet someone online. It is not just a 'given' that this person is who they say they are. There are still so many outstanding variables that come into play. Am I the one who has the misappropriated expectations here? Meaning, am I expecting too much by wanting the younger man that I meet on here to treat me with a certain level of respect ... especially at first...especially if we're still trying to get to know one another. Still trying to see if there is an mutual interest, connection and chemistry. It takes more than once chatting on im to determine if there is a true chemistry and connection. To me, it takes more than one chatting session or even two chatting sessions to make the determination that this is someone that you feel comfortable enough and know enough to talk about such intimate things. I came here with the hopes of finding the younger man who is seriously interested in exploring this possibility of something special...that connection, not just someone who wants to have cyber sex with me, or the younger man expecting to have cyber sex with me after our first chat. Like I said, am I expecting too much? Just pondering outloud.

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Posted on Aug 17, 2008 at 02:43 AM

i saw a woman that was very seemingly demanding that her man open the car door but she was just their first and he was late and she didn't have a key but to look at it seemed very different

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Posted on Jul 08, 2008 at 02:42 AM

From what I gather, that seems to happen on most of the internet dating sites, and probably causes more than a few women to give up on them altogether. *sigh* Personally, I prefer to chat and get to know each other a bit before getting too sexual, and ease into it based on the particulars of the dialog. But I usually like intelligent and witty banter, even in intimate conversation, rather than crass comments. I might note that you make a really cute pirate wench! Arrrrrr Hang in there, and good luck!

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Posted on Apr 03, 2008 at 09:53 AM

in response to trueblue..so pretty much what ur saying is that all men want from women is sex?? well, women enjoy sex also. but that isnt the first things out of our mouths. its a lack of respect for women. dont get me wrong, i love sex, what woman doesnt. but there is a time and place for sexual overtones and sexual content.what man truly wants a woman that doesnt respect herself and vice versa, and besides, isnt the whole chase and playing part of the game?? isnt that the fun?? i respect myself and others enough to not be a pig...grow up men, get to know and enjoy all things about a woman !!!! sex is just an added bonus. i guess my question is, why would u pay to be on a website, and have to travel to meet someone if its about sex? cant u get it in your hometown for free???????

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Posted on Mar 29, 2008 at 05:53 PM

Kahlua you had recently posted that you had wondered if anyone here dated from this web site. I don't think so. I think alot of the men here only want the fantasy of the older woman. They don't truly want the reality of her. If faced with the reality of being or dating the older woman, I think they run away from it. Not all but alot.

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Posted on Mar 29, 2008 at 05:51 PM

Thanks Kahlua, very wise words.

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Posted on Mar 26, 2008 at 07:26 AM

Quoting: Originally posted by trueblue08 I tried to walk away from these comments.... but I can't..... If you want to meet nice guys.... go where nice guys exist.... I'm no expert but in my few months on this and other internet sites.... you pretty much get what you get..... If we are deserving of better treatment we would not be here... I call this (not just this place) the land of misfit humans.... I used a site for normal match type meetings and I met some nice but not long term type ladies for relationships.... I gave up... then I joined a "sex" intended "hook-up" site and met a really nice lady who I will probably remain with.... go figure....... Honestly, there is probably not one male here who truly wants to be your shinning knight... a sinning night, more likely.... good luck and any attention at all is well, good... be thankful

Oh wow - what a charming guy - typical of the aforementioned toads:) Just because you think of yourself and anybody else that is here as a *misfit human* doesn't make it true. Obviously you sound like you have some deep-seated resentments towards women in particular and people in general. Glad you found the woman of your dreams on a *sex* hook-up site - a match made in heaven.

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Posted on Mar 19, 2008 at 05:32 AM

You stated: ..... If we are deserving of better treatment we would not be here... I call this (not just this place) the land of misfit humans.... My response: Flawed and negative thinking, also insulting.

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Posted on Mar 10, 2008 at 12:53 PM

No It's not just you. And I agree with everything you say. I state in my profile that I want a serious relationship so what do I get? Mostly I get guys who just want fun and games and/or a casual affair. I don't get it either.

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Posted on Mar 06, 2008 at 05:12 PM

Quoting: Originally posted by sweetsensualguy i never act like that for i always treat a woman with respect and dignity..the trouble is maybe you are just talking to young a group.i hope things work out for you :)

Thanks sweet. Maybe I'm just talking to too young of a group. Well, this is age gap dating. I'm 50 and not looking to date a 60 yr old nor a 70 yr old. LOL :) No offense. I do date men younger than myself. The men that I have talked to on here are primarily in their late 20's to late 30's. I would HOPE and think that a man in his late 30's would have by now know how to talk to a woman, sometimes not the case. Previously, I have talked to guys in their early 20's and they have been more respectful than some guys in their late 30's. After 1 or 2 weeks of talking to guys who just want to 'talk dirty' to me...well...I just won't tolerate it any more.

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Posted on Feb 27, 2008 at 09:48 PM

Yes unfortunately your experience is typical. That is why I do not give out any of my private e-mail addresses to most men. Also, there are a lot of very young men who want to come to North America and apply to us as a vehicle for getting here. They underestimate the intelligence of the older women here! The other group I really detest are the married men who pretend they are single. Most do not post a picture and are very easy to spot. Just call their bluff and you will find someone in Africa trying to scam you. There are some very cool people however (easy to spot) and I wish you the best of luck in locating the good ones.

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Posted on Feb 26, 2008 at 05:37 AM

No worries about the spelling of my name. I'm the world's worst - I always transpose letters.

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Posted on Feb 25, 2008 at 07:06 PM

That's funny Gig! Thanks everyone for your voice on this subject. By the end of 1 week, I just wanted to scream!!! That was until I met a guy at my Oscar party last night who looks 28 but is 38...drools. LOL It helped take my mind off of any negative experiences during the week. LOL :) Wink...I hope I see him again. :)

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Posted on Feb 24, 2008 at 08:12 AM

Sorry Kahlua..misspelled your name. :-> Dreamer

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Posted on Feb 24, 2008 at 08:10 AM

Sunflower.... Your experience is certainly not atypical and unfortunately most of the "boys" here are just that, boys who think they have license to behave badly because they can hide behind the anonymity of this venue. I have had so-called professional "men" attempt to treat me like a $10.00 whore and think nothing of it. I have been asked to give them something to fantasize about while they masturbate,talk "dirty" to them and essentially treat this site and me like an online brothel. It's sickening! Maintain your standards. There are a few decent guys who understand the word "respect." As Kaulua said: "Just have to wade through the toads lol" If you have the patience for that, all well and good. If not, I would suggest you search for "meet and greet" groups that specialize in bringing OW/YM together in the real world. There are a number of them out there. Good Luck and take all of this online stuff with a very large grain of salt. Love, Peace & Hugs, Dreamer

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Posted on Feb 24, 2008 at 06:18 AM

Thanks. I'm not saying that these men who try to engage in this type of behavior/chat are not nice guys, but most certainly, lacking a certain level of respect judgement. Perhaps because this is over the internet, they feel more empowered or enboldened to say things that they wouldn't to a woman's face. It could be also that some of these guys say such intimate graphic sexual things while chatting b/c they know that they don't have any intention of really meeting this woman face to face. I will not rule out improper motives. I first joined and posted my profile here back in the summer of 2006. I chatted away with different guys during that summer, never meeting any of them. However, those men were more respectful. There were other personal things going on in my life at that time, so, I stopped coming here to this web site. This week was the first time I was back to this web site since the summer of 2006. I would love to recommend this web site to my single friends, but I don't think I can, especially in light of how things have gone for me personally in just this week alone. I mean, my gosh, I'm not a prude, but I am a lady. I like to be treated with a certain level of respect, imagine that. I do however appreciate those men on here who I have chatted with, who have been respectful and sincere in their quest of dating an older woman. Cheers to you! You guys are refreshing and wonderful! Thank you. Kisses.... Sunflower613

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Posted on Feb 23, 2008 at 09:04 PM

You are so right - and it's a shame. 99% of these guys who act that way wouldn't dare talk to somebody that way face-to-face. But there are some very nice men here, as well. Just have to wade through the toads lol

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