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On Men, Marraige, and Feminization Posted on Apr 02, 2007 at 02:57 PM
Maybe it's just me, but it seems many males these days seem to be desperately obsessed with marriage or a long-term relationship. In fact, while driving to the gym yesterday, I saw a bumper sticker with the Promise Keepers' standard self-affirming propaganda: "I LOVE MY WIFE" was slapped to the back of an SUV. I thought about this for a second; then I heard the words of Chris Rock echoing in my head: "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LUV YOUR WIFE YOU DUMB MUTHA******! WHAT DO YOU WANT, A COOKIE?" Now, here?s the kicker: Unlike men, the vast majority of women in western society aren't preoccupied with improving themselves to be better mates. They're not slapping "I LOVE MY HUSBAND" bumper stickers on their SUVs. They're not posting responses to threads asking if it's possible to be faithful to a husband. They're not buying books on how to be a better love maker, how to be a better homemaker, or how to be a better wife. The fact is, women are buying books and subscribing to magazines on how to change YOU, the man, into their idealized concept of a husband, and when you predispose yourself to identifying with their expectations (before you've even met them!), women?s efforts are made that much easier. Men, we have to pull our heads out of our collective butts and stop seeing marriage or a long-term relationship as a goal state--the feminine ideal. One thing I notice is that most male threads on revolve around idealizing marriage or a LTR as some lofty achievement, but all this does is place a woman on a pedestal and appear to make a wimpy, subservient man legitimate because he's striving for something that looks like integrity. And I?m not the only man on this forum who thinks that such spin derives from social feminization. Now, I admit that most men love to rage against the ubiquitous, feminizing influence in our culture on any variety of fronts. Additionally, most men I know swell with a self-righteous indignation about how "feminist women" have ruined society. However, American men are increasingly being perceived as subservient to American women. Television commercials, particularly, are fraught with feminism, portraying men as stupid, lazy automatons who are berated and abused by women (check out the new Blackberry commercial); meanwhile, almost every commercial I see features women as hard-working sexy intellectuals. Feminization in full force! Clearly, women have become men, and men have become women. These days, I hear and read about more men than women desperately searching for an ideal partner that they've been sold on for the better part of their lives. You don?t believe me? Just casually troll any online matchmaking site (like this one), and you'll see a far higher concentration of male members than female members pleading for the ideal partner. Many men try to sell themselves, responding to attractive womens' blogs like dogs in heat. All of this is a result of feminization in society. So for the sake of mankind and the futures of your sons, please guys: pull your head out of your butt and refuse to make marriage and LTRs such a dominant priority in our lives. I'm not saying don't get married or entertain a LTR, for there's nothing wrong with monogamy (when you're prepared for it). I'm just saying let them be a by-product of your life's perspective. Instead, strive toward your personal goals; improve your mind, body, and spirit; enjoy the confidence that comes from that strength. Women want to marry MEN, not other women. Stop molding yourselves into what you think a woman wants from a guy/husband/BF under the guise of "striving to be a man of integrity." Instead, be a man of integrity by defining yourself and your own direction, even when it takes balls to do things that seem counterintuitive to what feminization has conditioned into you.
How to Flirt with Women in Grocery Stores Posted on Mar 27, 2007 at 11:29 AM
Despite the condescending, bitter remarks, my lines work. Several women whom I've hit on in grocery stores have given me their phone number. Not all, mind you. That's to be expected. But, as Wayne Gretsky said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." If I approach 10 women in a grocery store, and three give me their number (I never give my number because women never call men), that's like batting .300. That's not bad. However, I ask: What's wrong with "calculating a script" when it comes to approaching women? Complementing a beautiful woman is patronizing? That's absolutely false to me. Any woman who feels patronized for being told she's beautiful is not right, IMO. Also, whom am I hurting? What's the problem telling a woman in a grocery store that she's beautiful? Whom am I wronging? What crime have I committed? Why is this insulting? Lighten up, ladies. What's the difference between me and the guy who hangs out in bars, picking up women? You ladies need to think rather than react. If I complement a woman, and she acts insulted, that's fine with me. I want nothing to do with a woman who has issues taking compliments. I think your cynicism is actually more directed toward me rather than my pickup technique. The fact is, most women enjoy being approached, whether it's in a bar, a grocery sotre, or a gym. If they don't, it's their job to say, 'I'm not interested," at which time I will politely eject myself. If she's not enjoying my approach, then I let her walk. It's no big deal, ladies. It's called "flirting" for a reason, you know. ;)
On Standing Up to American Women Posted on Feb 27, 2007 at 01:53 PM
(Author's note: The following blog may alienate or offend women; however, I am merely conveying my heartfelt personal observations and experiences pertaining to the American dating game, so do not hate me. :) I spent two-and-a-half years teaching in Eastern Europe, and upon my return to America in 2004, I really noticed that the women here seem to be more spoiled and put on pedestals than those in said other parts of the world. They are used to men constantly seeking their attention, chasing after them, singing praises to them, kissing their feet and butts. Just look at the countless commercials on American TV and how they portray male/female relationships. The guy is often the desperate one seeking the woman's attention, while she makes use of her power to either choose to accept him or reject him and make his life "miserable." In no other arena do American women seem to have, in my opinion, an unfair and imbalanced power over men than in the dating game. When I first returned to the United States 2 years ago, readjusting to the dating culture of this country was quite tough. European society continually stressed (and still stresses) the importance of being polite and courteous: Respect for elders, smiling at strangers, call most people "Sir" or "Madam." In a good number of European nations, it isn?t perceived to be a weakness by women if a man is considered polite or "nice." If anything, women are drawn to such traits. They don?t want to end up with jerks and abusive boyfriends as husbands. They want to bring home to their parents a man whom their parents can be proud of. Readapting to the cut-throat nature of American dating was extremely difficult. I was always afraid to get into confrontations with women, even if they were rude to me! I was scared to tell them my mind; I was willing to do anything to please them, even if it meant going against my own comfort. But folks, something has changed: Ever since I vowed to freely speak my mind and begin lifting weights consistently, I am getting second looks from women who normally wouldn't have given me the time of day. I act more confident and indifferent and look physically more imposing, so they for sure know that they can't disrespect me anymore because I will put them in their place. I want to encourage those of you who may be currently going through what I experienced in the past. Do not despair. Keep your heads up and do not be afraid to stand up to American women. Show them that you are the man. Never let them walk over you, step on your toes, or disrespect you. Trust me: You will discover that underneath all that self-centeredness and arrogance, many American women are insecure human beings. Do not be afraid to say "no" to a woman when she suggests that you both go to a particular place for lunch or dinner, even if you originally might have thought it was a good idea. Develop a backbone. In the past few years, I've had several experiences that are helping me become a better person. I stood up to a whining woman at my gym who had the nerve to get up from her seat and yell in my face. She was greatly humbled when I told her not to talk to me like that, to get out of my face and to not disrespect me because I wasn't going to tolerate any crap from her. Finally, I wrote her back an email more outspoken and harsher than anything she had written to me before, giving her a piece of my mind. I told her I wasn't going to tolerate any more curse words from her or her attempting to stereotype me like the men she met in her life. I reminded her that she's not the only person in the world who has had bad experiences in terms of dating and relationships. In addition, I warned her that I wasn't interested in hearing about her past. We were supposed to set up a date that weekend, but I canceled, stating that given her behavior, it would be inappropriate for us to meet. What happened next?
Message For Men: The Most Painful Words a Woman Can Tell You Posted on Feb 17, 2007 at 08:30 AM
As I reflect on my past experiences, I'm just amazed at how insensitive, heartless, and cut-throat many American women can be when it comes to dating. I'm not sure how many of you may have heard these words or experienced this, but in my opinion, these are some of the most painful words that a woman can do to hurt your feelings. And in this case it isn't about lying that she has a boyfriend to try to get you away. It is when things start to get sour with a woman for whom you really had feelings and with whom you had been out on a few dates Then she says to you: "However, I have to be honest," or "I did not feel the same way that you did." Then, they often take it to the next step by telling you that they "hope you could share those same feelings again with another woman" or that "you deserve to be with someone who feels like you do; I hope you find her." Those words can pierce into your heart like a sharp sword because she's basically telling you that she doesn't view you at all on the same level of attraction. I have experienced that at least from three different women. I have to be honest: It hurt a whole lot, but by the time I got it from the third woman, the effects didn't last for long, and with each of them, I was able to give them a piece of my mind. It's just amazing the stuff men have to put up with when it comes to dating and relationships here in the States. I watched the movie "Hitch" sometime last month, and it was the same classic story that most of us men on here can perhaps relate to: A sweet, genuinely nice, and kind man with a heart of gold gets passed over by the object of his affection; his emotions are taken advantage of and trampled upon. The incident transforms him forever. I'm just truly amazed by this double standard where such women think it is fair game to continually hurt men's feelings, while if a man expresses himself when he's been hurt, it means that he's weak. The extent at which these women are so cold-hearted and insensitive and inconsiderate is mind boggling. I write this post to encourage any men on here who like me are still single and who sometimes may feel discouraged when, like me, they walk on the street alone and see couples kissing and holding hands; men who, like me, go to movies alone, etc. Sometimes it gets quite discouraging, frustrating, and even despairing. But you know what? Let's continue to keep our heads up. There is someone out there for all of us. This is my 5th year being single, and the 3rd year in which I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day with anyone. I'm not sure if any man on the board has been single for as long as me, meeting one shallow and heartless woman after another after another for all these years. Sitting by myself watching men and women this Valentine's Day holding flowers and heart-shaped balloons to give to their lovers was tough. It is unfortunate that good men have to go through all the terrible b--ches in between before eventually stumbling upon the right one. But I won't give up. I look at all of my painful experiences as a weeding out process and those women as not deserving of me. I have had to be strong because these things can have a really tremendous impact on your heart. So to the single men on this board, do not despair. No matter how bad your experiences may have been, do not give up. Think positive, respect yourself, believe that you deserve a lot better, and think of yourself as a prize and a great catch, and hopefully, you will attract a woman who deserves you someday. Sometimes, as they say, true love may come your way when you least expect it. Take care, guys.
On American Women and Their Feminism Posted on Dec 11, 2006 at 08:18 AM
Based on my personal experiences and observations, I strongly believe that feminism has gotten too much into the heads of too many American women, and with rather unfortunate results. Let no one get me wrong. I don't advocate violent and abusive behavior toward women or discrimination against them, and I certainly believe in equal opportunity between the sexes. However, I think many American women have a double standard in the sense that they often reject the so-called nice guys for not having an edge, not being masculine enough, etc., yet at the same time they don't hesitate to play the feminist card with men who seem to feel very comfortable embracing their masculinity at very high levels. Here in the United States, I think women have too much disproportionate power within the initial stages of dating and relationships, and there needs to be some kind of balance. Think about it, guys: the amount of humiliation, heartbreaking experiences and superficial rejection that a man often goes through in the dating game is unbelievable. Women have a right to stand you up, hurt your feelings, exploit you, and lie to you over and over, but because you're a man, you need to simply move on and keep your mouth shut. Expressing your emotions would, in their opinion, imply that you're too sensitive, a wuss, effeminate. If you're naturally a soft-spoken person, it is regarded as a weakness, and the woman may feel that you can't stand up for her or yourself; on the other hand, if you're very outspoken, she may fear that you're the verbally abusive type and won't hesitate to call the cops and get you arrested if need be. Another unfortunate consequence of American women and their feminism is that many of them tend to be very cut-throat and unwilling to work things out (compromise) with their partners when there are misunderstandings within relationships. Instead, being fully aware of how much power they have, they emulate celebrities who keep switching partners just like they change their clothes. The spoiled mentality of "I'm a woman, I have many options..." stupidly blinds them. While I'm not suggesting that all American women act this way, I must say, based on my personal experiences, that of all the Western women I have come across, none in my opinion have been as superficial and shallow and less willing to accept people for who they are than American women. The past three years, this has been manifesting itself in my life in a different way. Prior to lifting weights at the gym regularly like I do these days, I could barely get most of the women to whom I felt attracted to notice me. I used to run marathons and was a very slender, athletic build. I remember overhearing a black woman tell her boyfriend in their car as I jogged by one day ?That dude is so skinny." These days, all of a sudden, with barely any effort at all, it seems extremely hard for me not to get the kinds of women (I can spot them out in a second) who normally never gave me the time of day, to notice me. Even when I wear leather jackets, they seem to notice my muscular definition. The one thing that I feel good about in all of this is that not only has my confidence skyrocketed (and , of course, my testosterone level, too since I began lifting weights, but I can say with assertiveness that there is absolutely no woman out there who can disrespect me verbally or abuse that feminism stuff with me. I walk around and I seem to come across to many of them as a semi-giant, and now all of a sudden, they look at me as if they want to mate with me. It's a shame, but I guess that's the way it is.