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Posted on Sep 03, 2009 at 05:55 AM

A cataclysmic thought just occurred to me... Why is it that so many of us have been through multiple or failed relationships? Why did we allow it to fail? Why did we enter into something so important, so vital and yet it died on the vine like old fruit withering and rotting? Why did we cheat on our partner or were we the one was was cheated on? What could have been is just a lingering thought and as the years go by empty as an abandoned grain silo... What immediate hopes are there for an enduring relationship, a bond that transcends all else. At a later point in life, does that still remain a viable option? Can we ever truly love again and walk through the portal of bliss? Will we know the true answers of what mankind truly seeks and above all else desires? Oh the past mistakes, so many lovers, romantic love partners, the friends who have come and gone and still we just go on and on like ants in procession... What is and where will the final destination of the heart take us? Can we go on once again and face yet another dissapointment knowing that the glass could be half full as well? Will the best love relationship be one that just stimulates momentarily like say occurs on the phone without warmth, passion, or any semblance of human interaction? Will a man be substituted by a toy as an ideal soulmate? Will the internet porn videos satisfy a man for his five minutes of pleasure and accepted as rational human behaviour...? Will I just resign myself to be solomente? Watching yet another South Florida sunset alone and seeing other lovers happy and content, secretly longing for that one special woman whom I can finally give up my entire essence, my heart, body and soul after all these futile years of misery and anguish? What a waste a life is when you marry the wrong person, the grief, the wreckage, the hatred, the misery, the evil of inflicting B.S. upon each other... Too many young couples get caught up in the machinations of 'Big Business' which is the marriage industry... If unsuccessful then they get eaten by an even bigger fish the divorce industry which to me is the evil empire... So I vent wondering when I just might find solace and harmony in the long march to uncover that special event horizon of sorts... Will I ever be on the glidepath to her as she too is walking barefoot along the oceans edge hoping that serendipity finds us on the same collision course as myself...? And so I march on in anticipation of that far fetched possibility of one day finding peace and contentment with my lady.

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Posted on Mar 15, 2010 at 01:19 AM

Wow baby, that should have brought in some chicks to your magnetic personality.  Good for you and keep up the good work


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Posted on Nov 07, 2009 at 05:32 AM

According to Buddhist tradition, life is suffering. And while taking a glass half empty (or bone dry) approach to life doesn't do much to lift your spirits and keep you flying high, taking a realistic approach to life's ups and downs can be a huge stress saver overall. Why, you wonder? Because bad things do happen - to even the best-intentioned people. Yet at the end of the day, when we learn to accept them as part of existence and move on in the knowledge that this too shall pass, we can find fulfillment - in the most trying of circumstances. Life is short The older we get the clearer it becomes that time passes. And really, when you think about it, all we've got is the moment. Sure, we all have cherished memories. And yes, each and every one of us has hopes for the future. But ultimately, if we don't stay where we are, present at any given moment, we miss out on the experiences. Our senses and our spirituality were given to us for that purpose - to use them - not so that we can escape into our heads. Being present means accepting - and experiencing - the bad stuff too. Never panic When the proverbial crap hits the fan in your life, rather than panicking, take a breather and feel it. Emotions cannot kill you no matter how scary they are. But if you don't feel them, they can drag you down. Instead, by letting them go through you, what you'll gain in the end - a lesson no doubt, one that if truly learned, you won't have to repeat - will help shape who you are in that future you dream about. It may even reconcile some regrets you have about the past. Most importantly, it will expedite your life's tough times to a healthy speed rather than prolonging them with wallowing. In short, if you spend all your time crying "poor me" and assuming you'll never get through this, you might not. And what a waste of precious time! Life is long Conversely, as quickly as time passes, life is a long and winding road when taken in its totality. That means there are peaks and valleys, twists and turns - many of which simply can't be avoided. And you wouldn't really want to, because as clich? as it can sound, the ups don't feel quite so good without the downs to compare them to. Imagine being happy all the time? It may sound great, but if you think about it - doesn't a good cry feel pretty terrific every now and then too? Sadness, anger, introspection are all experiences that re-connect us with ourselves and our highest good. And if you want the peaks - or at least the plateaus - in your road to be longer than the valleys (and the descents), it's vital to take the most from the madness. That doesn't mean making madness the most of your life, however. It means facing everything that this time around has to offer and seeing value in every step along the way.

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Posted on Oct 02, 2009 at 11:39 PM

I think it's refreshing to see a man pondering about past relationships instead of just pushing the experiences aside. I do agree with Kismet that they are all lessons learned and should enrich who we are, too many allow the past to make them bitter and that's not good. With that said, when time is passing by and our "soulmate" doesn't appear it's hard to not feel like you though and wonder "when"...

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Posted on Oct 01, 2009 at 02:40 PM

Dear Gig, I too walk the beaches and wonder what life is holding back with each resounding wave. My dear...life is what we make it. It you spilt the milk, you clean it up and pour another glass. If you loved and lost, were hurt or you hurt her, touched someone deeply, but that deepness was never returned to you. Don't stop!!!!!!!! We can only make of ourselves what we put forward. This has been a learning process for as long as there has been humans on this earth. We have for most part all of us hurt, loved, lost, and yes been through some life changing moments. I nearly died in 1990 with the first case of flesh eating disease in San Diego County, CA. (my beaches) I through no fault on my part have been in 9 other driver responsible car accidents resulting in neck and low back fusions on the last accident. 1 other accident I was a passenger. And yes, until July 2009 I was so drugged up on pain, muscle relaxors, anti-depressants for chronic pain PILLS, that life moved on without me. During this time I lost my best friend my Dad who I shared a home with for 23 years. I lost all my friends, the two important jobs I had, the life in church I had built as a Home Group Lay Pastor for singles 20 to 45 years old. I am a pianist and was in a Worship Group in a large (6,000 member church), counselor and mentor to women in the church. All these things were lost to me. And so much more, the fun things in life I use to do. In July I woke up one day and said "what happened to who I use to be?" Two days later, I stopped all narcotics, muscle relaxors, sleeping anti-depressants, and chronic pain anti-depressants. I went cold turkey. I live in a senior/disabled building...since 2005. No one knew me as anything but a chronically tired, drugged person that went along with anything and lost a lot of things, money, jewelry, precious things that were gifts that I could never replace and I can't prove where they went. But now I am alive again with the intelligence that I had before I had those surgeries and the drugs come onboard. Now nobody likes me...because I am not that slup I use to be and I stand up and fight for my rights and what I believe in. All of this has been a very abrasive learning experience. I won't tell you I am whole when it comes to being happy and satisfied with my life this way...but circumstances put me in this situation not my choice...but circumstances that for the most part I had no control over. In July I took control over my life again. I am shyRose, because I am uncertain of where to go or who to touch with my life. Trying to reconnect with those before my life ended abruptly has proven to be a disappointment. Facebook makes it easy to regain or remove the regained friends that really are not friends. I guess that is why I turned to this avenue to make new friends. But we all have to reach out and touch someone to allow them to touch us. All your profound writing is true for a lot of us. But not moving forward in someway will only give you the emptiness that you talk about. You spurred me to answer you and also I feel that it is now time for me to try to reach out and touch someone. Now I just have to decide where to physically go to touch that person or persons. Not everyone is going to be a match, girlfriend/boyfriend, wife or husband, but if we don't try to find love we will only sit and drown in our own wollowness. So we must step up and strike the bell and tell the world we are here and it is time for the world to stand up and take notice. I hope for all of us that have experienced such feelings that you described are able to wake up and smell the Roses (sorry, but I do like Roses and the saying) so that we can have a new perspective on the world that is at hand. Because we never know when we might find the true bud that could blossom into the most precious time in our life and be able to with that bud as it blossoms into something so aromatic, colorful and beautiful that we want to have it preserved in our hearts for life. Good luck my beach friend and to you who read this. And I hope you wish me luck as well. Rose

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Posted on Sep 07, 2009 at 07:10 AM

And so it is written in the book... For to live each day and savor it for all its up's & down's is a testament to your spirit. I for one should realize that having survived a hotel fire, after being trapped while trying twice to crawl out in billowing thick black acrid smoke unable to get to safety other than my room, then eighteen years later being run over by a Range Rover crossing a small side street by a guy on a cell phone and being able to survive... Those scenario's should give one the stark realization that life is good, that anything else can be overcome? Yet some of us get caught up in the small stuff which is usually irrelevant... You are a woman who has it together.

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Posted on Sep 06, 2009 at 09:22 AM

Jag, I sincerely hope that serendipity finds you when you least expect it and the blessings inherent to that are rich in your just rewards.

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