Am I ridiculous?

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Posted on Jul 13, 2013 at 03:21 PM Total posts: 569

Some of my friends think I am ridiculous for wanting a younger man in my life, and say I should find someone my own age, and that no younger man would be serious......of course I dont believe them, Many younger men love a mature woman, they like our wisdom and encouragment as well as our softer bodies. and when you have that "Connection" between two people it all becomes about what you feel for each other not age. What do you think?

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Posted on Dec 08, 2013 at 04:05 PM Total posts: 2

{OF THE CLAY OF THE EARTH}, dEJA-VU dear, I'm still here and still behind you ... Leave them to their pigions, popcoarn and park benches, dwelling in their narcissistic past's ...

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Posted on Aug 11, 2013 at 07:59 AM

I wanted to let you know how happy I am that you found this wonderful YM, SherSumFun. And I have no doubt he is equally lucky to have found you.


All of what you said in your post resonated with me on a very strong level. One of the major reasons I have a naturally strong preference for YW is because of that fiery spirit and zest for life--as if all of life is a grand adventure, rather than just something you endure in the process of going to work, paying your bills, and then relaxing at home every day--that they have in contrast to most of my older friends. I'm not surprised to hear that you found similar traits in YM. I love my older friends quite a bit, but compared to how they were when they were 21, they have lost all passion for life, and only seem interested in "relaxation," having their daily fill of beer, and complaining about work. I know many YW who have been working since they were teens, and often have the added responsibility of college, yet still show that same thrill for life when they're off the job and done paying their bills.


Like you, I have never expected to be automatically looked up to by younger people just because I'm older than them by a few to several years, and I naturally function quite well with them as a peer. Being very young on the inside, I never lost that zeal and spirit for life as a great adventure to be enjoyed, and to find wonder and awe with every new thing I learn. I imagine that you are very similar to me in that sense, save for differences in our gender, and the gender amongst the younger crowd we prefer, of course :-)


Once again. I'm glad you found someone whom you are naturally suited for. It gives me hope that I will one day find an amazing YW who picks me amongst all the competition.

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Posted on Aug 11, 2013 at 07:47 AM

If you have a preference for younger men (YM), then that is who you should be dating. I think the real reason your friends (most of them, anyway) say you "should" find a guy in your own age group is because that would be more in harmony with their personal comfort zone. As long as you genuinely click with a much younger man, and he's not legally underage (so you do not get into serious legal trouble), then you shouldn't care what other people think, and they should be happy for you if *you're* happy with someone. If they aren't comfortable with your preferences for dating, then they need to recognize that this is *their* problem, not yours, and if they truly respect you, they will endeavor to get over it.


They also need to understand that for many people, their preferences along these lines are *not* a choice. I can't speak for you when it comes to that, as I do not yet know you that well, litenbrite, but that is certainly the case for me and many others who do not have a naturally broad attraction base. The only rule of human sexuality is diversity, and our society needs to accept age disparate preferences just as it eventually came to accept (or at least tolerate) same gender preferences and inter-racial preferences. None of us should be expected to put our preferences aside to acquiesce to cultural/societal expectations, because expectations of conformity go against the right to pursuit of happiness.


I'm also certain many of your friends with same age group preferences are unwilling to try and see outside their own perspective. So they rationalize their discomfort with your preferences by imagining that you are actually making a choice (again, your preferences may not be), and that you have negative reasons for making that choice; or that your preferences are indicative of emotional "issues" you have. In reality, it's an issue that society has. Just because a certain prejudice happens to be popular amongst consensus opinion at any given time doesn't make it any less a prejudice. Let's not forget that prejudices against homosexuality and miscegenation were once the consensus opinion too. And intergenerational relationships were accepted in the past until just relatively recently in history.


I do not personally understand attraction to OW, but I fully understand that there are many people who do have this preference, and I don't need to personally understand it to accept it and consider it a legitimate part of human diversity. If a younger guy finds happiness and fulfillment on all levels with you, I say more power to him! And if you find the same with younger men, then you have a fully legitimate reason to seek some YM who have a preference for ladies in your age group.


As an aside: I know the popular consensus is that older people automatically have wisdom, and that wisdom is strongly connected merely to quantity of life experience, but I will say that the accruement of wisdom is a highly individual thing in my experience. There are many YW with much wisdom to share too, even though there are many without, also. Not trying to be nitpicky, but I think individuals from all age groups greatly vary in terms of the quality of their life experience, regardless of the quantity, and the former counts as much for the accumulation of wisdom, knowledge, and various types of experience as the latter, and likely more so :-) 


Anyway, don't give up hope, litenbrite! You're worthy of a great YM, and your friends need to accept this aspect of your total being. We in the community certainly do.

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Posted on Jul 17, 2013 at 01:49 PM Total posts: 569

Thank you Shersum fun, I have never had that kind of attitude, you earn respect   I certainly wouldnt think I was superior just because I am older, I love learning things from younger people, most of my women friends are 13-15 yrs younger as well. I had this conversation with my son, because he said why didn't I have any interest in older men or friends, it is because I was Married at 17 to an older man that abused me Physicaly, I had my son at 18 I managed to get away, and had to work 3 jobs to bring up my son by myself so didn't have time to indulge in activities that others my age were, in fact it wasn't until my 30s that I had one good job and more time and money to enjoy life and of course my son was older. It was then that I found younger men were more interested in me. I have always looked younger than I am. and it was then that I met my younger husband. and was Married for 20 yrs. He told me he was older at first, He had been Married before at 18 and had a son, and was divorced, so you see that is why I am more on the same wavelength with younger people. (not extremly young) there are of course a few exceptions with a few women friends that are my age and that think the same way as me that I get on with really well, and there are some women friends on here that are very vibrant and and are just acomplished and intelligent people that I really like. Its not as if I run around "Dating" I don't, but I have met 2 men on here, and had a long distance relationship with one, for quite a while. He visited me from New York quite a few times it was nice. But he fell for someone else that was available to him. and we were still friends but his girlfriend didnt like it. so we stopped phone there's my life story, I will shut up now Lol! I am happy, I don't drag around the past, as my NOW is so much better, and could be even better with the right man to share some Sweetness with. I live in hopes :-)

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Posted on Jul 17, 2013 at 05:14 AM Total posts: 569

Thank you so much Paul. :-) You really did understand what I was trying to say. 

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Posted on Jul 15, 2013 at 10:23 AM Total posts: 11

Hi lite,  not ridiculous at all. I think if one searches out younger dates just to self-deny getting older, then they will have a rude awakening. I like being around my kids quite often because they have an energy, a fire, a spirit about life that my older friends have let nearly blow out 

I can see if you have health issues that truly deny you abilities to get out and enjoy things but if you don't and simply wear your age as a rite of passage to sit and moan and verbally account  your glory days..then I won't be sitting there too long. I was never one to expect respect and honor from anyone just because I was older than them.

Now that I have a younger friend, my understanding has changed of course and so has his. It is about 2 people and a connection. a respect and what is part of the give and take of it all. He could easily have been my age or so, he just happened not to be. I do know if I want a robust throughly fun time (the kind that makes you laugh till it hurts or dance till you can't) it will be with him and not my older friends. I want to feel alive as long as I can, not be made to feel older than what I have to be just because some see it as more appropriate for a person my age.

Yes its all legal I am 61 and he is 31.

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Posted on Jul 13, 2013 at 09:40 PM Total posts: 2

Hi litenbrite,

we talked just recently, though over a different matter, which was a misunderstanding at best..
This time however, providing your serious, which I believe you might be, so I hope you like my answer, which is an overwhelming "YES" in your befalf...

I share the same views, in fact it is ironic that I ran across this when I did because I was having the same conversation this after noon, and admitted the same exact words too no less than my (37) yr. old daughter. lol

I feel that you 'hit-on'  one of the most important issues of all and that is the value of shared wisdom which is in very short  supply today, more so than ever before in history...

The only advantage to the converse of this arguement in general, i.e.
younger Woman/Older Man, is the subject of childred, where in one case adoption is almost a forgone conclusion as opposed to the latter being more likely to produce their own...

Of course the whole arguement here is would either want children or not in the first place...??

Either way I'm with you, and/or anyone ... younger or older, who feels that the true quality of our being is measured by the love within  ones heart as it is given to another, who gives it back...!!!


Sincerely Paul R.
aka b4real1944