When is the age gap too big? Younger Men/Older Women Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Mar 25, 2006 at 12:46 PM


    Can more than a twenty year age gap ever work?
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  • View author's info Posted on Dec 06, 2015 at 04:58 PM


    depends on the individuals i say. for me any gap is fine.

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 02, 2015 at 02:21 AM


    I have a very close but long distance relationship with a man 19 years younger for five and a half years, we are in touch almost every day, I don't know what label to give it but when we get together we just have a great time, I met him on here. It's more than friends with benefits. I stay on here as I made friends that I'm still in touch with. I get lots of very young men that have been in touch with me, but they just want sex, I really agree with Mithril moons comment, if the gap is too wide you don't have so much in common for a proper relationship. But it's whatever floats your boat.

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 22, 2015 at 07:23 PM


    I have only dated 10 and 15 years younger.  Oddly, the one I dated with 10 year age difference, would probably be the more realistic choice today.  He was 20ish and I was 30ish.  Even at that stage of our lives - we were compatible. 

     

    The guy who was 15 years younger was 31 and I was 46.  The thing which stands out besides the fact that he was a jerk, was our conflicting parenting styles.  My daughter was in high school at the time, and his kids were little, like before school age.   I found that I wanted to interject (which I knew was not the thing to do) and he didn't ask at all because he  wanted to exercise his own agency as a parent.   We also did not have enough in common which had nothing to do with our ages.

     

    I think it's just about 2 people diggin' each other and it working over the long haul.  That's where love and commitment come into play just like any other relationship. 

     

     

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 17, 2015 at 10:21 PM


    They can , but you have to look at it closely . If both of you are on the same page than it will work !

  • View author's info Posted on Mar 07, 2015 at 08:49 AM


    Age gap relationships actually work the best and they help to stop people from being ageist in the same way that mixed-race relationships help to stop people from being racist. Anyone looking for an age gap relationship should try Friends with Benefits UK, where the members span from fresh faced young adults to mature silver foxes and the people are open minded, respectful and free from prejudice.

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  • View author's info Posted on Mar 26, 2008 at 09:12 AM


    I think it depends on the two individuals. Are their goals the same? Do they have things in common beyond the bedroom? What about children or building a family? They're all questions to ask yourself and the other person. I'm finding more and more, that at my age (48), anyone younger than 33 or 34, probably will have very different goals from me.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 25, 2006 at 04:59 PM


    Sure, though I think if you're looking for a suburban "2 kids and a dog" kind of lifestyle it might be a bit tough. But if you can accept having family members of all ages, and most likely not having children yourself (depending on the age difference) then sure, it can be the best thing ever. I knew someone who dated a man thirty years younger than her and it lasted till the end of her life, very happily.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 29, 2006 at 02:42 PM


    You know what I don't like, the phrase "age is just a number". Ya it is, and words are comprised of letters and salads have vegetables and blah blah blah. The issue is still unresolved. What does one one desire for the totality of their life? How does this relationship fit in? And what others think does matter..but will it stop one from living what is felt to be right and true.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 29, 2006 at 02:42 PM


    You know what I don't like, the phrase "age is just a number". Ya it is, and words are comprised of letters and salads have vegetables and blah blah blah. The issue is still unresolved. What does one one desire for the totality of their life? How does this relationship fit in? And what others think does matter..but will it stop one from living what is felt to be right and true.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 28, 2006 at 07:32 PM


    The biggest gap for me was 25 years, but I didn't know she was that old when I first met her. She was quite hot and didn't look her age, but it turned out to be a one time thing, I think she felt uncomfortable.

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  • View author's info Posted on Aug 19, 2006 at 01:22 PM


    Baylee33 write:
    Can more than a twenty year age gap ever work?


    Why not?

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  • View author's info Posted on Aug 01, 2006 at 05:38 PM


    well i think id just like to give you a good session older women turn me on espeacially ones like you your lovely pity your so far away
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 20, 2006 at 03:16 AM


    Baylee33 write:
    What I find strange is that a really, really young man will respond to my profile. That is unnerving. I feel that they are not yet adults in the complete sense of the word. They don't know what it means to take care of themselves. It makes me think they're looking for a "mama." That may not be fair to some but . . . well. . .



    I agree that contact from very young men - teenagers! - can be unnerving.

    Most, predictably, are looking for lessons in love. If the older woman doesn't mind a 30 year plus gap, and can endure extremely youthful conversation (and perhaps musical taste), I don't see any harm in it.

    I prefer men in their mid-20s to mid-30s. I need to be able to really talk to my man. Others may have different priorities.
  • View author's info Posted on May 17, 2006 at 08:36 AM


    gracious!!!...whoever made you such an expert then? ;)
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 31, 2006 at 07:25 PM


    Generally, when there is an extreme age difference, the people are only looking at the present, not the future. They look for a short-term diversion, a mentor to help them to feel comfortable with what is to come, an ego boost to feel desired by someone in a different generation or they may actually just want someone to pay the bills. It is rare for an extreme age difference to survive long-term, unless it becomes just a very good friendship. Too many issues develop over time with extremes of any kind.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 31, 2006 at 07:02 AM


    What I find strange is that a really, really young man will respond to my profile. That is unnerving. I feel that they are not yet adults in the complete sense of the word. They don't know what it means to take care of themselves. It makes me think they're looking for a "mama." That may not be fair to some but . . . well. . .
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 25, 2006 at 07:53 PM


    That all depends on your objective. Take a look at your expectations over the period of time you are seeking. Short term is always easier than long term. If you are seeking someone who hasn't resolved adolescence yet, you'll never know the final results up front. Women tend to resolve adolescence about 24 while men tend to resolve adolescence about 28. If you expect a long term partnership with someone younger than that, make sure that both of you are very interested in the personal growth of yourselves, each other as well as the relationship, along with making sure that both of you have excellent communication skills and are willing to use them. Adolescent relationships aren't impossible, just more challenging. Ask yourself the reason that you would want a partnership with an adolescent. You may limit their growth by attempting to get them to fit into your life. It is possible to have a good relationship with an adolescent, but usually if your focus is on their growth and not on thinking about your own future. You can help them to grow or enjoy a diversion. Just don't let your agenda hold them back. Once they resolve adolescence, they no longer have anything to prove, feel good about themselves, their growth and their direction of growth and aren't concerned about what others say as they know who they are. Once adolescence is resolved, age is irrelevant. The issues then are to understand what each is seeking and make sure those issues can be met long term. If they are attracted to your youthful look, realize that the youthful look won't remain indefinitely. Is your relationship strong enough to survive the loss of youth? For a relationship to last long term, though a life long intimacy is important, there must also be more things in common. The greater the age difference, the more depth is required in multiple areas (beiefs, lifestyles, values, interests, etc.). Make sure that you know what you are getting into, make sure you have the skills to deal with it and then enjoy what develops.
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