Too Early For Romance; A Question for All Romance community

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 16, 2005 at 11:53 AM

    Hi Everyone!

    When I was a paying member, I, like some here, have received many contacts from other members. It took a bit of time, but inevitably, I did establish a long-term pen-pal relationship with a young woman who did fit my "match".

    As a result of feeling "comfortable" with this person's e-mails and to avoid receiving "unwanted" winks, etc, I dropped out of AgeMatch's paying subscription service a few weeks back. My match and I sustained contact, though, and we have began to make plans for the summer, which includes a probable meeting between the two of us.

    Perserverance, coupled with patience, seemed to work for me and I did enjoy this particular online dating service. However, there are variables which have now took precidence in my life and I really regret participating as I did.

    I am expecting my legal divorce to be finalized in a month or so, but this whole process (divorce) has drained me to the point that I do not want any contact with anyone, except for a friend or two. I think that, during my separation, things were so blurry in my life and I was looking for a quick connection due to my wife serving me in September of 2004 with legal papers, that I was looking to "latch on" to my match, no matter what. I was afraid to be alone for the first time in over 20 years. But this is an awful reason to come on here and look for a person.

    I am ashamed at the way I have acted and maybe I have blown things out of proportion in terms of my match's feelings towards me. On the other hand, we have been consistent with each other in terms of e-mail correspondance.

    The point is that I shouldn't have been so gung-ho to jump into anoher's life and make promises that I cannot possibly keep. This is why I have a feeling that I may have to back off completely, even if I have had great dialogue with this potential, wonderful partner. I just do not kno...
  • 2Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 27, 2005 at 03:07 AM

    I thank you for your thoughtful and caring response.

    You are 100% right in being honest from the get-go. There was a reason my marriage soured to begin with and the answer was honesty. Meaning the lack thereof.

    I spent a large part of my adult years investing in someone who really couldn't care less. I would not want to "talk the talk" with another just for kicks.

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2005 at 07:28 AM

    I hope and pray that everything is going well with you. In response to your post, might I suggest you just take it easy. No stress. remember to be honest. The good thing about the internet is that you dont have to do anything yoy dont really want to do, and that includes a face to face meeting. Take your time, your profile says pen pals also. So just tell her your true feelings, she might be hurt initially but she will do fine. Remember not to make promises you know you will not keep. I hope everything works out for you.