code of secrecy Younger Men/Older Women Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on May 25, 2008 at 02:19 PM

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  • View author's info Posted on Dec 01, 2008 at 05:54 PM

    Pure poetry sindee07. Very nice.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 15, 2008 at 08:51 AM

    Oh,yes..I warned you...Be careful what you wish for!

    For grins: Can it also be said that men, no matter what age, are smart buggers and can spot an untapped supply of female body parts - attached to the heads of woman who can be charmed, seduced, appreciative and exciting? And women, finally given the knowledge of that position of power, are able to choose without hesitation, from among the men - the most suitable for purpose - someone that at the very least seems to be thrilled to be with her? She is thus able to dig deeper into herself and find some inhibitions still hidden that she is willing to let go of - in the presence of a mind, and body still so open to rare gifts.. nuts...Who can explain attraction anyway??.but it is fun to try..

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  • View author's info Posted on Nov 12, 2008 at 07:21 PM

    sindee07, I would love to help you write that book. ;)
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 10, 2008 at 06:22 PM

    I have much to say about this topic - it could easily turn into a book! So I will just say that one of the things most said about older women is that "we know what we want!" and as individuals, this is true...and not just about sex...we can all safely agree on that one.

    As for me, I want a whole man I can relate to! And so far, it has been the younger men in my life who WANT to.

    I thank goodness and am delighted that younger men are the very best and I for one, do not want a toy anything! No matter how much I hear that a guy say he WANTS to be my toy [smile] - ...cause, 'darn', I'm a woman - and I am designed to want the whole Man!! ONE of course, who is not an alien life form, comes with batteries, or glows in the dark. (wait, that is starting to sound pretty good..:) -- it is finding a man willing to listen, slow down, speed up and be shown (and who I want to do the same for) -- that is unbelieveably hard to find - but in my experience, much more possible with younger men.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 26, 2008 at 08:24 AM

    I realize that the older women who post to this site are going to tend to be more liberated than most. Generally, you ladies are not going to be limited so much by the societal barriers which keep older women from openly pursuing encounters and relationships with younger men. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here, right?

    However, we know that your level of liberation and openness is the exception. Most women, I am finding, are open to the possibility of being with a much younger man, but simply do not feel so comfortable with other people in their lives knowing about it. So they dismiss the opportunities and avoid them.

    There are many reasons why older women feel they can't consider much younger men as potential lovers. We younger men who find ourselves desiring older women need to make ourselves aware of these realities. We have to be highly attuned to, and considerate of, their situation and circumstances. It's the only way we can learn to accommodate them, and open up the opportunity for some potentially beautiful experiences with these feminine gems.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 26, 2008 at 07:45 AM

    I'm always a little nervous talking about the experiences I've had with older women because there is definitely a code of secrecy maintained about such things. But despite our society's general messages of denial and disapproval, these relationships are happening, and a lot. They are just being kept secretive for the most part. In my case the experiences have all been incredibly positive and enriching. In every experience I have had, even those in which it was clear the woman was looking for little more than a boy toy, I always felt valued and well treated. I'm not sure that is always (or even usually) the case when a younger woman gets involved with an older man. Mature women, on the other hand, generally seem to take better care of everyone and everything around them, even their toys. It just seems to be part of their nature. Any thoughtfulness, respect and consideration that's directed at them is responded to in kind. It makes for a very strong bond potentially.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 20, 2008 at 03:22 PM

    I'd still like to keep this discussion topic going. I know most people posting to this site generally aren't the type to feel they need to maintain a secrecy about their age-gap relationships. So for them the topic doesn't seem relevant. However, I think that attitude is the exception to the rule, at least when it comes to older women and much younger men. I'd say that 9 out of 10 of these kinds of relationships remain very discreet.

    It helps for young guys to understand this. At least I know it has helped me to understand it, and it's helped a lot. What usually keeps an older woman from even considering a much younger man is simply their legitimate concern about how it would look to other people. Once I had made the conscious connection and realized this, I was able to understand that these kinds of relationships require a very different approach. Previously, I just assumed more mature women just didn't find younger men attractive.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 18, 2008 at 07:23 AM


    That sounds great!

    Thank you,
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 15, 2008 at 08:46 AM

    Hi Mark,
    This will be a necessarily short one as I am in the middle of moving to a different part of the country. It is very exciting indeed to live this lifestyle. Although I'm happy with my solo existence, it would be great to have another pair of eyes, another brain and another perspective to share and discuss it with. In due time, maybe.

    I am a very good salsa dancer and if you are willing to be led, I could teach you some great moves. Possibly, at some point we ought to meet if just to say hi and go have a night on the town together. What are your thoughts on that?

    I will be posting some pics of my new location on my profile. I'll let you know when.

    Take Care,
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 14, 2008 at 08:37 AM

    Hi Dreamer,

    I can?t say I am a very good dancer. Most of the dancing I?ve done is slow dancing. It would be great to learn Salsa, especially if I could get some private lessons.

    I stay pretty active with sports and other outdoor activities. I enjoy cycling, mountain biking, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, and just about anything else that involves getting out into the fresh air.

    With your work taking you around the country, you must have lots of opportunities for exploring new and interesting places. I am adventurous by nature and would love to be able to live like that. I travel when I get the chance, but for now I am mostly here focusing on school. From here I?ll be going on to law school.

    As far as my interest in more mature women goes at this time I don?t know where it will lead me. I have been drawn into this amazing experience and I am just going with wherever it takes me.

    I too look forward to more of this discussion.

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 11, 2008 at 09:23 AM

    Hi Mark,
    Seems like we're the only two in this That's ok with me. You're very insightful and absolutely correct about the monogamy issue. My mobile lifestyle tends to create "being together" challenges that I feel could be easily addressed with creativity, mutual interest and motivation So far, most of the guys I have communicated with see it as a negative rather than an exciting and adventurous positive.

    I'm also glad to hear that you have no qualms about being "in public" with your partner, if she so desires.

    As for cooking, I am a chef so I do love being creative in the kitchen. I truly enjoy preparing a sumptuous meal to savor "under the stars" with an appreciative guest to share it with me. Can't get much more romantic than that.

    Getting dressed up and going out on the town is another of my favorite things to do, especially going dancing. I would dance almost every night if there were someone willing to go with That's how much I love it!

    Are you a dancer? Do you like music and live concerts? You seem to be quite flexible and willing to explore. That is a quality I especially like. Do you like outdoors activities? You will find me bicycling, hiking, trail riding, climbing, bird watching, boating and beach combing depending where I happen to be geographically.

    My dogs love all of the "new" places they get to sniff and my birds, they're just content to be with "mom." My horse loves to go too so we're just one big, happy, vagabond "family."

    You say in your profile that you are in school. What are your aspirations career-wise? Do you feel that you will always desire to be with someone of a more "mature" vintage?

    I look forward to this "discussion" continuing. This is fun! Talk to you soon.

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 10, 2008 at 08:35 AM

    Hi Again Dreamer,

    I would feel fine about having a "real" out in the open relationship with a mature woman. I had a taste of that with one woman I dated. She liked to go out on the town a lot. Even though she was a great cook she preferred going out to restaurants for dinner almost every evening. I never felt uncomfortable about it at all. Once in a while a waiter would assume she was my mom, but that didn't bother us. I am sure it was more embarrassing to them than it was to us. We just always had a great time together and probably would have been pretty unphazed even if the entire world burned down around us.

    I look forward to having that kind of relationship with someone again one day. I'm always open to it and looking for it. I have come to understand and accept however that most of the older women I've been involved with have needed our relationship to be kept discreet. I can respect that. I don't mind filling that role in a great woman's life. In fact I consider it an honor, and at the same time an amazing turn-on.

    Some of the women I've had these kinds of relationships with have requested that I not be involved with any other women at the same time. That's been ok with me too. I'm usually so into them that I don't have much interest in other women anyway. This particular lady I'm seeing now is married and she has told me she does not expect me to settle for the one or two times a week that we are together intimately. She's made it clear that she doesn't want me to feel obligated to her in any way. So I do see other people. This is why I still consider myself "single" and dating.

    I don't think you're selfish at all to expect monogamy from a partner, as long as you concern yourself with what their needs are too. If you were too busy to get together more than once a week with a partner, it might be selfish to ask them not to see other people.

    I think this is a good discussion for people to have. I'm interested in getting more of your thoughts.

  • View author's info Posted on Jun 10, 2008 at 07:41 AM

    Why shocked though? This is not a new thing. Many, many women have been in agegap relationships in what would be considered very ordinary circumstances. My ex's mom was older than his dad and they had 10 kids together plus she outlived him. She will be 90 this So, you see, it is and has been in the mainstream for a very long time. ;->
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 09, 2008 at 04:35 PM

    In the last two years I've been finding out just how much older women are open to the idea of getting together with a younger guy. It's really amazing me. I'm no less than shocked, but in a good way. I love it!
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 09, 2008 at 07:08 AM

    Hi Again Mark,
    I had another thought/question for you. How would you feel about a "real", out in the open, full-blown association with someone like me? Although I consider you "too young", no? I also find you intriguing at the same time. Talk to me.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 08, 2008 at 06:06 PM

    Hi Mark,
    If you are still being intimate with her, I don't consider that "single." I do, however, appreciate your honesty. I'm very selfish when it comes to that. Either I have you all to myself or not at all. I have always been very singular that way. Nevertheless, I don't see why we couldn't be friends.
    Dreamer :->
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 07, 2008 at 10:48 PM

    I also want to apologize for how long it took me to realize you posted here to this topic. I'm still just getting the hang of how this site works.
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 07, 2008 at 09:38 PM

    Currently, I am officially single. The relationship that I referred to in that other posting of mine you mentioned is very limited and discreet. The lady is married and she wants to keep it that way. I don't know the whole story but she says she is not at all happy with the emotional and physical aspects of her marriage. She says our relationship fulfills those needs for her.
  • View author's info Posted on May 30, 2008 at 08:18 AM

    Hi Again,
    I got your wink and would like to know you better too. lol....;->
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