WhY? Romance community

  • View author's info Posted on Mar 04, 2005 at 12:03 AM

    Why is it so hard to find someone when you have a child? I don't expect a father figure..I'm just a regular girl..Having a child has not changed me..Someone please comment on this!!
  • 16Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 29, 2008 at 05:20 PM

    In reply to most of the typical comments here the issues have nothing to do with age.There,s nothing wrong with girls having children as young as possible.The problem is that too many blokes of all ages are just too unreliable and selfish.It,s no more likely that an 18-20 year old father will run out on his wife and children than a 30+ year old will.It,s a harsh tough world out there but it,s not always in a child,s interests to have a step father.The bond between biological parents and children should,nt be broken if possible.It,s much harder to make a bond between non biological parents.It,s time that girls were much more careful in choosing their partners.Marriage should be for life not just until someone else comes along which is how too many men see it.
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 25, 2006 at 05:29 PM

    What a great answer. Thanks for the insight - you really are an old soul in a young mans body.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 10, 2006 at 10:41 AM

    Hi, I am sure what I have to say might not do any thing for you, but I love children, and I like your picture, yes I am not what you are looking for, but a child is God's gift and there are women out there that have tried to have them and never get what they want, so a child is God's blessing, and I would love to meet you some time to get to no you better, Friends first, and we can work from there.
    I married a woman who had a 2 year old
    girl, she is now 14, and we are the best of friends, even thou her mother and I have Divorced, I see her once a month for visitation, I love her to death, so you see it is okay to have a child, as long as you can see, that who ever you are with that you are in this together, in the bad and good times.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 05, 2006 at 07:01 PM

    SuGaRpY325 write:
    Why is it so hard to find someone when you have a child? I don't expect a father figure..I'm just a regular girl..Having a child has not changed me..Someone please comment on this!!

    ok i really hope you read this so you'll have your answer guys automatically feel the need to step into a father figure roll because if the relationship gets serious your child will see him all the time and he wont have a choice but to fill that roll. kids immitate what they see, thats alot of pressure to put on a guy who probably approached you just to hook up or have fun. he feels he'll some how be responsible for scaring that kid for life if it doesnt work out at least the good guys will on the other hand some dudes wont even care.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 06, 2006 at 03:19 PM

    I am very sirprised at the fact that you are 18 years of age with a child, And looking for a man,,Dont you know that it is because of a man that you have a child,,,Be careful young lady, for in the process of looking.. you might just get another kid ...men will take what they can get from you then move on,, a young woman like you in your state is very vulnerable...be VERY VERY CAREFUL... my advice to you is to rewind the tape, and start doing what you should be doing before the kid came along,,your education, a career,and your child should take priority,,thank god for both you and the kid that you are still very young,,so my dear girl ,,rite now all you have is time,,use it wisely..the rite man will come along where and when you least expect..and for god sake ,,,look after yourself,, you are a lovely looking woman..dont mess up...Best wishes...Kitt
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 31, 2006 at 01:41 AM

    I'll have to agree with the previous message answer. When you have a child it's extra baggage for a younger man who most likely doesn't know what he wants out of life in the first place. As for myself, I would welcome a younger woman and child as I am looking to have more children and continue my family tree. Great_hands

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  • View author's info Posted on Jan 23, 2006 at 05:13 PM


    I am looking for a guy around 30-38 years old in the DC area. I want him to be college educated, fit, and fun. Are there any guys like that out there? Parispassion

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  • View author's info Posted on Jan 05, 2006 at 12:22 PM

    hi trulibra.look for my message....number is there!!!!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 05, 2006 at 12:19 PM

    hi trulibra---would love to talk to you.---nick
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 03, 2006 at 02:34 PM

    ---Why is it so hard to find someone when you have a child? I don't expect a father figure..I'm just a regular girl..Having a child has not changed me..Someone please comment on this!! ---

    It is a good question, most men around our age aren't ready for children, in fact most run when they think their partner may be pregnant. There could be several reasons why;
    -The guy is worried about the ex, and that you would always have ties to him, the child would eventually want the father again.
    -The guy is worried that he may not get the attention and freedom from you, you have responsibilities.
    -The guy knows he can't provide anything to the child or you, the feeling he can't fit those " big shoes"| so to speak

    Unfortunantely younger men around our age aren't ready and don't want to have anything to do with kids. Gradually in time, when they become mature, they see the light a t the end of the tunnel.

    Perhaps date a little older?
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 12, 2005 at 07:44 AM

    this is a message for trulibra...hi thanks for the wink back.i am also not a member--would love to meet you
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 11, 2005 at 08:55 AM

    As I'm sure you are aware, having a child is a lot of responsibility. A lot of guys just aren't ready to deal with the demands a single mother has on her. Whether it be because the guy is too focused on himself, he's not ready for a serious relationship, or any other reason, consider yourself lucky to find out up front that he would only end up being a waste of your time. It will save you, and your child, a lot of heartache in the long run.

    Just be persistent and honest, and you'll find the right guy. Even though it may seem hopeless at times, there are a lot of men out there who aren't intimidated by a single woman with kids, and you'll probably think it was well worth the wait when you find one. :-)
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 10, 2005 at 02:23 PM

    I guess guys worry about the ex's involvement in your life beyond your childs?
    Will you love kids you have together as much as your first?
    Are you always looking for someone who can committ or are you willing to meet with no guarantee that anything will develop?
    Women with kids are often more intense than those without,they expect more from you than just fun and dating,sometimes thats alot of pressure when you first meet?
    Just ideas....check out my post if you have time,write me:)
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 10, 2005 at 09:07 AM

    Be positive in what you seek and that's what you will attract. Just because you are a mom doesn't mean, you won't attract the right person. Be patient and the right person will find you. Always keep in mind that you are a mom first and most important who ever you attract will understand this, don't ever put someone ahead of your child. In time with love, positive thought and an open mind, will bring your hearts desire. Ask God to send a good and positive man your way. What ever you do don't jump into a relationship with out total knowledge of the person you are meeting, because remember disguises come in all forms. Look into a persons heart, talk and talk until your inner questions are answered. Most importantly trust your instinct. Good Luck Dear
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 10, 2005 at 06:30 AM

    Good question. I would have to say there is a legitimate fear from those in your age range that, if they commit to you, they would be comitting to a young woman with a very young child. This is not to say that there aren't those who would not want to have a life with you and your child. But the age range you set for your match, certainly stacks the odds against you, in my opinion...
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 10, 2005 at 06:08 AM

    Well...in my opinion dear having a child at such a young age is like having extra baggage. Most young men around ur age are not ready to take on that extra baggage...it is more of a commitment. It is only my opinion, hope I'm wrong, for ur sake.