I need to vent! Younger Men/Older Women Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Oct 07, 2009 at 06:09 PM


    I hope I don't sound lile I'm "just whining" or too conceited, but for me this is bad for my self-esteem and not only it has happened quite a bit in the past but in recent days it's happening again: a bunch of either very ugly and/or very old/wrinkly men (who look like they have a foot in the grave...)

    They gush about how "beautiful" they think I am and how much they'd love to meet me, etc., but I wonder if they even own mirrors. Do they truly believe they qualify to be with someone that looks a whole better than they do??? I'm sorry but at the risk of sounding superficial I prefer to date equally nice looking men, I don't require a great body since I don't have one but he should at least have a nice face. Most don't even have much in common with me (and I try to be very specific in my profiles). I have to clarify that I don't have to have a YM, I'm in fact still a little intimidated by the idea and I'd be fine with a man my age or even older, but definitely NOT like those that have written me!

    What I think is that they believe they are doing me a "favor", ha! They should take a little trip here and read the blogs to see how many wonderful YM don't really feel that way. Sometimes I'd just like to tell them that here at AgeMatch I've been contacted by very nice YOUNGER men, and if I've rejected most (sorry, my darlings!) most of the time it was because I thought the age gap was just too big, they're too far, we don't have enough in common, or while I was grieving for my mother's death which occurred in Sept/08. But after seeing my "other" options I've gained a new appreciation for the YM who put themselves out here so I've decided to take my chances and be less self-conscious about how the years are betraying my body (most of it can be corrected by sticking to my diet and exercise plan anyway) and all that other stuff most of us worry about.

    So, now that I got it off my chest (and thanks for reading!) I'd like to hear from other ladies who've had the same depressing experience (maybe we can have a good laugh together!) and maybe from some nice YM who may think there's still hope for me ( and xoxo to all of you!!!).

    Raquel
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  • View author's info Posted on May 23, 2012 at 08:44 AM


    Your post does sound somewhat superficial. Maybe the men you're attracted to are not attracted to you. Maybe the men you write to and want to date think the same way about you that you think about these other "ugly" older men! Have you ever thought of that? But on the other hand, I can understand your dilemma. Before I met my sweetlove, I also was only attracted to guys that I thought were attractive and I wasn't attracted to the ones I didn't think were attractive or who I thought were downright unattractive. 
    It all just boils down to one thing: MUTUAL PHYSICAL ATTRACTION/SEXUAL CHEMISTRY. If one or both of these attributes do not exist in the mind of the person looking at someone's photograph, then it just ain't gonna happen. Period. Stop focusing on the men you're not physically attracted to, and instead, concentrate and try to manifest into your life the kind of men you ARE physically attracted to. It's good that you read "The Secret". Use what you've learned from that book to attract into your life the kind of man you DO want. Good luck!

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 20, 2011 at 05:31 PM


    It's been over 2 years since I posted the above and now I agree for the most part with "Sparkle4evr" in so far as maintaining a positive attitude. I always thought I was positive but the truth is that I allowed habitual negativity that I was hardly aware of to creep in so change has been a gradual process for me. I've made lots of changes to my life during the last 16 mo., which include moving from one state to another all by myself to start a new life from scratch. Then book "The Secret" 'found' me and that has been very beneficial for me as I've learned that I have to keep my thoughts and feelings in the right "frequency" in order to attract what I really want in my life. I still haven't found "the one" (that I know of!) but for the last month and a half have had a fun crush on a "hot" young neighbor who at least likes me enough to be friends and even accepted an invitation for dinner at my apartment last week and he gave me a little hug when he left, not a bad sign IMO, lol!
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 13, 2011 at 07:51 PM


    @ Iluv, I am brand new  since last Sunday and been through the run around, even on match.com . I had looked at dating charts, like ok cupid, and at the peak are those men in their 30's who are seeking the same  age or early 20's. Over 35 to 55, I was way out of commission.
    Reverse match was a joke. There were middle aged men wanting to date 25 year olds and men in their 70's interested in women in their 30's. For the older woman like me, not much. out of almost 200 men only 7 to 10 were open to older women.
    I am radiantly beautuful, lost weight, articulate and bright, but unless I am posing in a picture looking very buxom with long legs in heels, I feel I don't stand a chance. I am very much angered by the stigma of the cougar woman out to gratify only male fantasies. I am acquainted with a cougar dating expert, who has had conversations of devoted love of cubs for their cougars.

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  • View author's info Posted on Jan 22, 2011 at 08:19 PM


    Why is everybody so negative?  This site is so simple to enjoy.  You can't be so angry because someone you wouldn't go out with in a million years is interested in you.  Just delete him/her.  Simple.

    I look at the whole thing this way.  I am in no hurry to meet someone.  I love my life and it is full.  I have put myself 'out there' and when someone is interested in me, great.  I either will or won't respond.  I also look at who is available and send the ones I find I'd like to respond to me, a short email.  If they respond we may continue from there.  If they don't, that's ok.  It only takes one man to make me happy.

    I have been very successful on this site, I must admit.  I have chatted and met a few men I have chemistry with and I enjoy their friendship. 

    It is all in the attitude.  Age is only a number.

    Try and feel better.  I hope venting has helped and don't forget that delete button. :-)

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 13, 2010 at 10:28 AM


    shar726:

    Thanks for sharing, I wish you the best with your YM!
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 12, 2010 at 06:43 AM


    Oh how I can relate. I have been on several sites and have 1)attemped to be scammed several time and 2) emailed by oldr men who LOOK 20 years older than me. I specifically posted no men older than 55 but still continue to get contacted by 60-75 yr old men. Well, maybe they can't read! I am communicating with a youngr gentlemen now and we will see how it goes. At least he is who he says he is, I checked! I learned how to do that!

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  • View author's info Posted on Jan 01, 2010 at 09:38 AM


    I really can relate to what you wrote. I mainly date younger men. Why people ask, because I can ;)!! Seriously, because I am attracted to them and they are attracted to me. However I do keep an open mind about dating someone my age or older. I just need to be attracted to them. I find myself wondering like you do if these men own a mirror. I think it's reasonable to want to meet someone who is attractive, takes care of themselves and has a realistic view of themselves. I want to encourage you to date who you want to date. Don't let society or other people dictate your life. I have met a lot of wonderful, adoring and nice young men. I wouldn't trade that for the world. I wish you luck!!

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 31, 2009 at 10:17 AM


    Personally I'd love to meet an older woman aged 70 and above.

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 28, 2009 at 10:25 PM


    Thanks for all your comments!

    ¿

    gramps,

    I've already tried men from outside my area in the past but it's harder to know if they're the real deal or not so I have to rely heavily on my intution, which has gotten pretty good, btw.¿ And it's not just that, I really long for a relationship in which I can do things with someone and be able to see them often, not just 2-3 times a year.¿ However, I do still consider long-distance contacts, I agree that one shoul not shut the door to the possibility of finding real love somewhere else.

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 21, 2009 at 05:45 AM


    Wonderful, posting!!¿ but it could also apply to most anyone on this site. I am on a couple of other sites and I have the same problem, some of the women that reply to my ad must just look at the photos and not read. I am not afraid of older women, but then again I am also not seeking a 75 yr old great grandmother at this time.

    Your comments about being too far away are also a proper consern, We tend to not think outside our comfortable box, in the aspect of leaving what is normal to us. We know where the market is, how to find what we need and want, only because we are used to the area.

    ¿

    Life in itself is an adventure, one has to live that adventure in¿ order to enjoy life.¿ Even if it means trying something new, unkown, and different.¿

    ¿

    I guess what I am trying to say in the overall, is if you communicate with some one , and there is a little chemstry, hell go for it, Don't be afraid to travel, even if it is a weekend. And the excuse of no time, or no money, or I can't find a babysiter, in my book is just not going to make it.¿

    ¿

    THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 18, 2009 at 08:38 PM


    I love older woman and always tell them they are beutiful cause they are and I like to see them happy.

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  • View author's info Posted on Oct 13, 2009 at 08:20 AM


    Been there, done that. I never seem to find what I'm looking for on these sites, either. And I'm looking for younger men. :)
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