mother-n-laws...soon to be or never...... if she has her way Younger Men/Older Women

  • View author's info Author Posted on Sep 21, 2007 at 05:51 AM

    Follow - email me when people comment
  • 6Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Jan 02, 2014 at 02:23 PM

    Personally, If it were the other way around and the woman I was in love with pulled this on me , I would simply say to her, "enjoy your life with your mother. oh and don't call me, I'll call you." I am not going to criticize you or take jabs at you for packing up everything and leaving all your friends and family behind. Sometimes people do crazy things when they are in love. 

  • View author's info Posted on May 14, 2011 at 08:41 AM

    Dreamer i would love to meet with you especially if you are traveling in the northeast
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 05, 2007 at 11:34 AM

    I am troubled, please help!
    I have dated this wonderful man for 8 months and have lived with him for 2 months.
    We have made it through the long distance thing when I had to work out of town for 5 months. He flew in to see me once of not twice a month.
    We made it through the normal fears which are associated with a serious commitment.
    But this one ~it's about to break our very souls~
    My man is from another culture. He loves his mother and is so close to her and his father, like nothing I have ever seen.
    Everything was going fine until his mom found out my age. Now this sweet, loving, kind, woman has turned into a vicious,kniving, verbally abusive woman.
    She has sent me e-mails saying that I must release him for his own happiness. If i love him I will sacrifice my love and make him marry a younger woman to have children with (he has been open about not wanting children to everyone).
    She has sent him e-mails and spoken to him over the phone saying that I am the devil and she is praying for our break up at all times in the day.
    This has been going on for a week and for the first time in 10 months I see the man of my dreams looking at me differently.
    He says he loves me and I know he means it. But he loves his mother too and I might not be in his life forever but she will always be there and he can't deny that.
    He actually said to me tonight that he believed it would be innapropriate to break up with me right now since we have bought a bedroom set on my CC and it needs to be paid off.
    INNAPROPRIATE????? I can't tell you how much that hurt.
    I quit my well paying job, left my home and sold it, left my daughter and moved 20 hours away from everyone I know and love to be with him. Everything was beautiful and fine until his mother started working on his head.
    She is in another country and tells him daily that his love for me is killing his father and she can't eat or sleep. The guilt she is heaping on him is actually....killing him!

    What can I do?
  • View author's info Posted on Oct 05, 2007 at 11:29 AM

    I didn't know. He never let on what kind of family he comes from. I have always supported myself so I never really looked at what kind of money other people come from; only what they are doing for themselves today. Apparently his family is very wealthy, the kind of wealth that I can't even conceive of. But what I can and do understand is that we are now in a whole new ball game.

    To put it bluntly......He will lose his inheritence if he stays with me.

    If that isn't bad enough his contract ended with the company he was working with five weeks ago.He made very good money but the company that holds his Visa got half of it because, well that is the way it works when they bring someone into this country to work. That is how they get paid.But now that very same company is preventing him from getting work where we live (this is way to long to explain and it's stupid. They could not do what they are doing to him if he were an American).

    We pooled our finances together and unfortunately, it is not enough to sustain us.

    I belived he had his own money which he had been saving. Looks like it was family money, which they have now cut him off from. As of a few days ago, all we have is what I have left in my dwindling bank account.

    Last night we talked about our only choice which is for me to go back to Florida and wait until he gets a job. Until then he can live in the housing that the company owns.

    Funny thing is I remember telling him when things were looking bleak that we would do everything BUT ask his family for money. Now they are saying "I" wont get a dime of their money and they are cutting him off completely. However, they did say he was welcomed to come back to his mother country at anytime and they would welcome him, loving arms wide open.

    I felt like throwing up,even today I have felt sick both physically and emotionally. We can't seem to get a break. We are living examples of Murphy's law!

    Will our love survive or was this all just a dream?

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Oct 05, 2007 at 10:42 AM

    It hurts. There is no doubt. He did write her an e-mail telling her how we met and fell in love. He also said to her that he loves me dearly and has the right to love as a man. Actually the letter he sent was very long and detailed. He wants to make them understand our love and believes it will take time for them to understand.
    He also says that the whole CC thing was a misunderstanding by me. I told him that we had better take into consideration our future lives with his family since they hate me. He thought I was trying to break up with him so he was saying we can't break up right now because we are in debt to each other. It was his way of saying, if not for love, then for money, I should stay with him.

    He has also told me that if I leave him because I believe I no loger want to stand with him in our fight for love then he will never again be with a woman like his mother wants. That in his heart he has fallen in love, and it is his only one true love and has no desire to touch another woman as long as he lives.
    He said this on bended knee with his head in my lap and watery eyes.
    I know he loves me.
    His pain is so great.
    Even this moring his mom called and asked if he had made her happy yet.
    This is cruelty of the heart which I have never before seen or experienced.

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 21, 2007 at 05:51 AM

    First of all, why did you give up so much for this guy? It seems to me that you are in this totally on his terms.

    I understand he's close to his family and in other cultures that sometimes trumps all other connections, however, he did choose to become involved wth you knowing full well that your age and cultural diffrence could be a real problem with his mother/parents. Did you discuss this at any time previous to her finding out that you were older? How old is she?

    I would say ultimately, it's his choice to make and if all he can do is tell you it's "inappropriate" to break up because of the bedroom set, I would take a long, hard look at this situation.

    It's tough to be logical when you are in the thick of things and honestly, your happiness and well being ought to be paramount to him. We women tend to sacrifice way too much in the name of "love" and then get kicked to the curb when it's inconvenient or uncomfortable for the men in our lives.

    He has to stand up to her and let her know he loves her but he loves you too and that she needs to respect that. If he won't do that, I would say things look pretty grim.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and I'm terribly sorry you have to be sujected to such abuse. Please feel free to talk to me any time. We all need to be heard.

Follow - email me when people comment