Why does it hurt so much !? Younger Men/Older Women Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Oct 25, 2010 at 02:55 AM


    Hi all

    I am a 27 year old male that fell in love with a woman that's 52
    I know her for about 5 years now and started to develop feelings for her the last 1.5 years.

    I had a hard time dealing with it being with her and not able to tell it was always hard for me.
    I decided to put an end to it and talk to some mutual friends of us.
    They told me that it might be that she never wants to see me again or that she couldn't deal with it...
    That kept playing in my head and I felt worser and worser...

    I decided to tell it to her anyway but I failed the first time...
    All I could to was ramble. She still wanted to know what was wrong with me and that she misses my spontanious reactions...
    I decided to give it another go and tried to tell her once more.
    So I asked her to drink something and that I would tell it then...

    We went for a drink and she asked what's on your heart!?
    I froze yet again... Drinks were over and I drove her back home...
    She kept pushing me and so I finally said it "I LOVE YOU"
    I was so afraid to lose her !
    Her reaction was " I already knew that..."
    But we are 20+ years appart + I had my husband which I loved very much ( he died 11 years ago due cancer )and I don't need anyone at the moment... and will remain single whole my life probably...
    Although she kept comparing me with her husband and I had so much incommon and that I could be a brother of him...
    I have the feeling for some reason that she wants more but is to afraid to be hurt. She still wanted me to enter her house and still wanted a hug and a kiss after I confessed my feelings...
    She still wants me to come over like "nothing happend" I'll always be welcome , but I just can't at the moment! Something happend!
    I asked her if she could handle it my feelings she said " i've been trough so much that I can put myself over it"
    I tried to keep myself strong but now all I do is cry over and over...
    Why does it hurt so much ? I didn't lose her and still it hurts so much ,it's all still so vague it's like I didn't recieve a no but more a doubt....

    Regards
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  • 2Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Jan 11, 2012 at 04:17 PM


    Phanteon, Of course it hurts, You had the courage to tell her how you felt, but it wasn't validated, but dismissed like your feelings didn't matter. This is a little out of date, and so I hope you feel better now, and that you find someone that loves you back.
  • View author's info Posted on Nov 02, 2010 at 07:41 PM


    Sorry,to hear that,If not her,I am sure you can always find someone.Best to move on and keep looking.Everybody gets hurt at times.

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