Date rape?? Wow thats a very strong and serious comment. I agree with you respecting someone elses wishes, but communicating a fantasy to someone hardly constitues as date rape. I guess I may be reading your blog wrong, but here is my take on it. In communicating with someone, its very healthy to communicate ideas, fantasies, goals, wants, needs, likes, and dislikes, in my mind thats what communication and a relationship is all about. If the other person is not liking or into your fantasy, than i agree one should respect those wishes, but unless you communicate and identify what your fantasies are to the other person, how do you know whether or not they like or dislike it?? Then if they tell you they dislike it then trying to force it on them verbally is rape?? I'm not sure what you mean by that....if you do it physically yes, then it is, but verbally?? I can see it being harassment and very disrespectful, but I cannot seeing communicating an agenda being constituted as raping unless there is physical contact. I guess maybe in my mind there is a lot of communication and discussion before any physical activity come into play. In other words, she will know my fantasies and desires or agenda and be comfy before any physical encouter would take place. I would hope that most women in the world would operate communication 1st then physical 2nd, but I am sure there are those out there who do the exact opposite.
I believe you are mostly correct.
Finding a man who wants more than just "fulfilling a fantasy" will be somewhat challenging. However, one can have a very good friendship with that person. That's why it requires a very long time to get to know someone before having intimate relations. That way you will know if the younger man really wants to be with you for the "long haul."
I realize that as a guy I'm not part of the intended audience for this message, but I think your question contains a false dichotomy. What if a guy fantasizes about having a relationship with an older woman? I don't mean to be a pest, but was the original thrust of your question more along the lines of whether guys on this site are looking more for a one-night stand versus a long-term relationship?