Relationships and dating have always been fraught with their own set of issues. When the person you are with is older than you, the gap in age can lead to a whole host of new dilemmas that you may feel ill-equipped to handle. The foremost thing is to remember and accept that dating older men is a lot different than being with guys your own age. As long as you are susceptible to these differences, taking charge of your relationship and steering it in the right direction should not be difficult. Here are a few dating rules that will help you along the way:
Meet Him Halfway
Older men are likely to be in a very different place in life than you are. Being with an older man can, therefore, mean that you two have very different expectations from the relationship. While he may expect you to be a little more mature in the relationship, you may find yourself wishing he would loosen up and enjoy a bit more. Neither of you are wrong in expecting these things from your partner but the thing to remember here is that it is only natural for people to act their age. Understand his point of view and try to meet him halfway.
Seek His Opinion
Since he is older, your man definitely has experience and wisdom of his side. Make the most of it by seeking his opinion on important matters concerning career growth and better financial management. It will send across the signal that a valuable role to play in your life.
Make Time for Your Hobbies
Your man may have a lot of other things to deal with besides his relationship with you, and if you weave your entire life with the man you are dating as the focal point, his absence may start irking you, leading to problems and cracks in the relationship. Pursue your career, hobbies and interest with the same passion as you did before you were dating, this will give you both space to do your own thing and you’ll look forward to your time together even more.
Don’t Come Across as Needy
There is nothing more desirable than an independent woman who can take care of herself, both emotionally and financially. When you are financially dependent or too emotionally needy, it puts an unnecessary strain on the relationship. Your man may go on supporting you without complaining but that does not mean he is not feeling stifled by your growing dependence on him. He is looking for a partner and not an overgrown baby.
Steer Clear of Things that Emphasize Your Age Gap
Yes, you have to accept that age gap in an unavoidable part of the relationship. But it is best to leave it at and move on. Talking about things like your favorite TV show or rock band growing up will only emphasize the gap in your years and may even lead to some awkward situations. Steer clear of such discussions. You two won’t have a common reference point from the past. Period.
An undeniable chemistry, compatible temperaments and common interests are the heart of a successful relationship between you and an older man. If you have these things in place, age will become a non-issue.
If you have met an older man who just swept you off your feet, don’t let the age difference come in the way of what may be a beautiful relationship waiting to happen. Remember age is after all just a number and younger women dating older men is no longer taboo. Besides, dating older men can be an enriching experience of a different kind – he is settled in life, has experience on how to treat a lady, and mature enough to navigate through the usual blips that come up in every relationship. However, that doesn’t essentially mean that the older man is the Mr. Right you have been waiting for. Treat your relationship with an older man just the way you’d treat any other – give it time, live in the moment and don’t rush into commitments until you are sure you two have a future together. But while you are at it, use these dating tips to make the experience priceless.
#1 Make Sure He Fits Your Way of Life
When dating older men, women usually take it as a given that they’d have to do all the adjustment to fit into his lifestyle. After all, he is older, more mature and has a settled way of life. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. When you choose an older man, make sure he fits your lifestyle – or is at least ready to make amends to that effect – just as much as you fit his. If that seems unlikely, he is probably not the right choice for you.
#2 Don’t be His Toy
Just the way it would be wrong to presume that all younger men are immature, it is equally off-the-mark to assume that all older men are sorted in their head. Older men using younger women to fan their egos is not entirely unheard of. Make sure you don’t end up being a play thing for your older man. Display some self-respect by turning down overtures such as accepting expensive gifts or monetary benefits early on in the relationship. It’ll send across the message that you are not someone who can be used for sex in exchange of luxuries.
#3 Don’t Presume It is all about the Sex
It is wrong to start a relationship based on such unhealthy assumptions. Not all older men are looking for a trophy or sugar baby they can use. He may be genuinely interested in you and the relationship. Give him time and the benefit of the doubt unless there are enough red flags to think otherwise.
#4 Be on the Same Page
If he is an older man, chances are he already has a baggage of his past to deal with. When you get involved with the man, you become involved with his baggage too. Talk about issues like commitment and expectations from the relationship early on to save yourself and the other person the trouble of heartbreak later on.
#5 Don’t Lose Sight of Your Goals
Your relationship with an older man is just that – a relationship. It can be a very significant part of your life but don’t let it become the focal point of your existence. Stay focused on your goals – your career expectations and ambitions in life – and strike a balance. If you have to choose between your personal goals and the relationship, choose the former.
Dating older men can lead to a beautiful relationship and make for a wonderful experience, provided both the partners know how to treat each other respect and dignity.
More and more women seem to be dating a man 20 or so years older these days.
Yet, in fact, this is a dating phenomenon which has been around for a great number of years. It’s just that general awareness of younger women dating men more than 20 years older than themselves has increased. When you think more about it though, a woman of 25 dating a 45 year old man or even a woman of 30 dating a 50 year old is really not that strange; “age gap” dating, as it is often called, is hardly an issue for most people any more.
But just why do younger women look to date men more than 20 years older than themselves? What is it that attracts younger females to look for a mature man when there are so many younger men around? Some possibilities include:
men over 45 or 50 tend to be more mature than most younger men, usually preferring to spend more time with their younger woman as compared to spending frequent “nights out with the boys”. By and large they will be more “worldly” and understanding, probably preferring the company of their younger, attractive females to their married colleagues or friends.
younger women often feel that older men, especially those more than 20 years older, will have established themselves in a good career, are probably financially secure and able to provide her with the necessities of life—clothes , accessories and, perhaps, frequent travel.
older men will certainly have more worldly experience and can “be there” for their younger woman when and as required—they will also have a better understanding of females through life experiences, be tolerant and know more about what a woman wants and needs.
dating a man in his 40s or 50s can be beneficial to a younger woman as she will gain life experiences she may never have been able to get; perhaps learning from the older man or even studying something related to his profession—partly as many men more than 20 years older are likely to have met their female companion at the office or workplace.
with advancements in modern technology and the forever improvements in knowledge sharing, an age gap of 20 years between and older man and younger women is not the same as it may have been even 10 years ago. Both parties have excellent access to information and knowledge about, for example, current trends and fashions; maybe they share mutual interests or even study together as the mindset of a man in his 50’s nowadays can easily relate to a 30 year old woman.
Naturally, some younger women will look for advice and dating tips prior to seeking a man more than 20 years old than themselves for dating. However, there is so much information on-line, plus a whole variety of dating sites specialising in age gap dating that there is no real need to worry about potential compatibility as such sites screen out potential partners beforehand.
There used to be a time when a person over 50 dating was considered to be out of the ordinary.
Those who were over 50 and looking to find a new life partner were previously limited to finding someone in the proximity of their home or in, perhaps, their limited social circles. In many cases this meant that people over 50 looking to date seriously often struggled to find a good match.
Yet a number of things have occurred, especially over the last ten or fifteen years or so, to make 50+ dating much more commonplace. So, if you are over 50 and looking to date, consider:
generally, these days, both men and women over 50 have a much younger outlook on life, especially those looking to date. In today’s modern world with instant this and instant that, people no longer are no longer content to be looking forward to slowing down and retirement at 60 or 65. They usually wish to keep up-to-date with all that’s happening around them, with the result that they retain their drive and zest for life
as a result of advances in medical studies and cosmetic treatments, plus many more people over 50 having a healthier lifestyle and a greater awareness of diets and exercise regimes, most people over 50 look better and are able to keep up their appearances. If you are over 50 and looking to date then, with an overall better presentation, it’s now so much easier to find other willing partners also looking for a mate
in addition to looking good, many over 50s are far more socially active the ever before. There are many more activities for the 50+ to participate in with a variety of clubs, groups, events, educational courses and other studies and social occasions available. Nowadays, people of 50 are, generally, more mobile with greater disposable incomes and are keener to enjoy companionship with others
with many of those over 50 looking to date being internet savvy, it’s far easier for them to meet either others of the same or of similar ages, or even much younger companions, to date. There are a wide variety of internet based websites offering introduction and dating opportunities for the over 50s—and all can be achieved from the comfort of sitting behind a computer. Such dating websites for the over 50s can help screen other potential partners even before meeting—reducing the chances of mistakes but, more importantly, increasing the chances of successfully finding a compatible partner
with divorce and relationship separation rates constantly rising there are far more “singles” over 50 around than ever before. There are higher incidences of breakdown of “first” relationships once people get into their 40s and 50s and, so, naturally, more 50+ looking for new partners and keen to start dating again
Over 50s dating is not a new phenomenon by any means, it’s just that awareness of this dating sub-set has increased as accessibility for potential daters has increased. Add in the fact that dating over 50s is much more socially acceptable, then you have a “recipe” for further growth in such dating.
Traditionally, older men have always dated younger women.
Whether the age gap in such relationships has been a few months, a few years or, say, in excess of 10 years, older men have almost always looked for younger women. Of course, it can be looked at the other way in that many younger women look for older men—whether this be for stability, maturity or worldly experience really depends on the woman in question.
However, throughout history men over 40 seem to have had a propensity to date younger women. Clearly, the reasons for this may be many fold but the fact remains that more and more older men than ever before are dating or in relationships with younger females.
Some reasons include:
#1 larger age gaps in relationships are far more socially acceptable than ever before. If a man over 40 is dating a younger women who is 25 or 30, such an age gap of 10-15 years hardly causes any one to question the genuineness of the relationship. Previously, when society was more rigid, there would always have been questions raised.
#2 being with an attractive younger woman often makes men over 40 feel rejuvenated with a newly found zest for life. It’s easy for older men to feel jaded as they enter their second decade of working and all the challenges that entails; finding and being with a younger woman gives many men over 40 a new lease on life and reinvigorates them.
#3 with the advent of the internet and other instant communications such as Smartphone Apps, it’s easier than ever before for a man over 40 to find a younger woman to date. This may be through joining one of the specialised dating sites or by attending event or functions which have been set up purely to facilitate older men looking to meet younger women.
#4 related to the above point is the fact that the internet has helped created a global society with so much more knowledge sharing and awareness of a myriad of issues; it has also enabled people with similar interests to find each other. Such sharing of mutual interests means that an age gap between parties is more easily bridged if they have a common purpose or goal.
#5 many men devote the early parts of their working life to building a career and getting established; they may be building their own company or trying to reach director level or above in their chosen profession. In such cases, older men suddenly find that they have neglected their social life and have not yet found a life partner—naturally, younger women are more likely to be available.
For men over 40 dating younger women, broadly speaking, changes in the overall fabric of society and in social attitudes means that age gap relationships are becoming common place. Younger women, too, looking for an older man can be comfortable knowing that their relationships is now considered more “mainstream” than in the past.